


Dream of You

by aquariuslover



Series: Expectations! [8]
Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, Star Trek, Super Junior
Genre: Cho Kyuhyun & Shim Changmin Friendship, Flashbacks, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Torture, Joong Parenting, Kim Heechul | The Greatest, M/M, Zhou Mi | Evil Warlord
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-27 19:21:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 30,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14432409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aquariuslover/pseuds/aquariuslover
Summary: While the rest of the ship races to rescue Commander Cho and Shindong, Jaejoong and Changmin are forced to deal with each other. Lord ZhouMi’s reputation for cruelty proves completely warranted. As Kyuhyun struggles to survive the unbearable, he dreams of his life spent with Ryeowook.





	1. Mr.  Buttons

_“Mr. Buttons, you will be okay,” an eight year old Ryeowook told the large white goose that he held in his arms as he walked toward his home. “I will sneak you in my room, and make you all better.”  
  
Ryeowook knew that his grandmother would be busy with the off-worlders and not on her usual guard for whatever creatures that Ryeowook might sneak into the house. He thought it would be easy to slip the goose past her. Ryeowook had lived with his grandmother for as long as he could remember. When he was just a baby, his parents had died in a farming accident.  
  
He was mostly a happy child, but right now, he was very concerned for the goose in his arms. He was deep in thought about how he could make Mr. Buttons better, when a gentle hand landed on his shoulder, halting him.  
  
“Whoa, there little guy,” a woman’s warm voice could be heard saying.  
  
Ryeowook looked up at the woman he had almost run into. He immediately recognized her as one of the off-worlders. She was wearing their familiar clothing, but she somehow looked fancier to Ryeowook then the other off-worlders he had seen. “I’m very sorry, Ma’am,” Ryeowook said apologizing to her, stepping back and bowing his head.  
  
The hand on his shoulder moved to his chin and lifted it up ‘til he was looking at her. She smiled at him, putting him at instant ease. “It’s okay…you have your hands full. Who is your friend?”  
  
“Mr. Buttons,” Ryeowook quickly answered.  
  
Her hand left Ryeowook’s chin as she studied the goose that rested in the small boy’s arms as easily as a puppy or kitten would have. “Did something happen to him?” she asked, concerned, as she took in the missing feathers, the heavy breathing, and the blood stains on the goose.  
  
Ryeowook nodded his head, close to tears. “The Rodelo’s dog got him.”  
  
The lady knelt down beside Ryeowook and asked, “Are you going to take him to a veterinarian?”  
  
Ryeowook sniffled and shook his head. “No, they wouldn’t let me. They will just want to eat him.”  
  
A wave of dislike washed over the lady’s face and Ryeowook remembered that the off-worlders did not eat the meat of animals. “That’s horrible.”  
  
Ryeowook nodded his head in complete agreement. “I have had him since he was a baby gosling. He likes to follow me. Mr. Buttons was following me out of the gate…but I didn’t know, and that is how the dog got him.”  
  
The lady looked at him, full of sympathy, and then she hit the pretty gold badge on her uniform, and ordered, “Beam Dr. Brown to these coordinates now.”  
  
“Dr. Brown?” Ryeowook asked, his eyes lighting up instantly.  
  
“He’s a very good doctor. He will have Mr. Buttons fixed up in no time.”  
  
“I want to be a doctor when I grow up! I have always-” Ryeowook stopped, his eyes widening, as a man appeared out of thin air right in front of him.  
  
“Admiral?” the man who had just appeared questioned in a hesitant tone.  
  
The lady…the Admiral stood up. “Doctor, my friend here has an injured pet, and I would like for you to help it.”  
  
“You sent me down here to heal a duck?” the man asked in disbelief.  
  
“It’s a goose,” the admiral corrected. “His name is Mr. Buttons.”  
  
The doctor looked at Ryeowook and couldn’t keep from grinning. “Hello, Mr. Buttons. What happened to your goose?”  
  
“I’m Ryeowook,” Ryeowook said, correcting the doctor, and then looked down at his goose. “This is Mr. Buttons.”  
  
The doctor gently shook his head in amusement and pulled out a scanner from his jacket’s pocket. “So, Ryeowook, what happened to Mr. Buttons?”  
  
“A dog got him,” Ryeowook answered as he watched Dr. Brown wave the scanner over Mr. Buttons. “Can you fix him?”  
  
“He can,” the admiral told Ryeowook. “He is a Star Fleet doctor…they can fix anything.”  
  
“Wow,” was all Ryeowook could say as he watched the torn and tattered goose begin to heal in front of his very eyes.  
  
“Dr. Brown, did you know that Ryeowook here wants to be a doctor when he grows up?”  
  
“Does he?” the doctor asked, smiling at the boy.  
  
“I do,” Ryeowook quickly confirmed. “I want to grow up to heal people and animals…and to fly on ships!”  
  
Dr. Brown and the admiral both looked at Ryeowook, startled at his admission. Little boys from the Baylor Colony were not supposed to want to grow up and fly on ships. “Fly on ships,” the admiral repeated.  
  
“Yes, but don’t tell Grandma…she would be sad,” Ryeowook quickly explained.  
  
The doctor put away his scanner and reached a hand down and ruffled Ryeowook’s hair. “Mr. Buttons is going to be just fine now.”  
  
Ryeowook sat the big, fat goose down on the ground and stared at it in wonder. The feathers that had been ripped out were back, shiny and new. “You saved him.”  
  
“I’m always glad to help,” the doctor told him as he stepped back to stand with the admiral.  
  
The goose stayed at Ryeowook’s feet, unbothered by the humans. Ryeowook stared up at the doctor, full of admiration. “I want to be just like you when I grow up…” Ryeowook paused, remembering who he was. “But I can’t be.”  
  
“Why not?” the doctor gently asked, already knowing the answer.  
  
Ryeowook reached up with his hand and wiped his left eye and explained, “We can’t ever leave Baylor.”  
  
The admiral stepped forward and knelt down till her eyes were even with the young boy’s. “Ryeowook, I promise, there isn’t anything you can’t do when you grow up. I will help make all your dreams come true.”  
  
“You will?” Ryeowook asked in awe.  
  
The admiral suddenly looked very sad as she reached up and tucked a strand of loose hair behind Ryeowook’s ear. “I think all little boys should get the chance to grow up…to grow up and live their dreams.”  
  
Ryeowook suddenly felt terribly happy and sad at the same time. He knew the Admiral did not lie. He knew that she would make all his dreams come true, but there was something so sad about her.  
  
“Admiral Cho, I thought you had left,” the voice of Ryeowook’s grandmother asked from behind them.  
  
The admiral stood back up and turned to face Ryeowook’s grandmother. “I was just leaving now.”  
  
Ryeowook’s grandmother motioned for her grandson and Ryeowook scampered off quickly to stand beside her, with Mr. Buttons following behind him. “I see you met Ryeowook.”  
  
“Yes, he is a delightful boy,” the admiral answered full of sincerity and fondness.  
  
Ryeowook’s grandmother nodded her head. “Yes, he’s a good boy. Goodbye, Admiral Cho.”  
  
“Goodbye, Council Lady Kim,” the admiral told the grandmother. She gave Ryeowook one last smile and then hit the golden badge on her shirt. “Two to beam up.”  
  
Ryeowook watched as the admiral and the doctor disappeared. He then looked up at his grandmother who was known for strongly disliking the off-worlders. “Are you mad, Grandma?”  
  
“No, Ryeowook.”  
  
“I thought you didn’t like them,” Ryeowook asked, confused by the look of compassion on the old woman’s face.  
  
His grandmother looked down at him and smiled gently. “I might not approve of their ways, but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel for them.”  
  
“Feel for them?” Ryeowook asked, even more confused now.  
  
His grandmother wrapped her arm around him tightly and answered, “I know what it is like to lose a child, but at least I knew what happened to my son…but that poor woman. That poor woman’s son is just lost.”  
  
************_  
  
  
“Ryeowook!” the worried voice of Sungmin from the other bed beside him in sickbay stirred Ryeowook from his memories. Ryeowook turned to look at the man he had once called best friend. “Are you alright?” Sungmin asked.  
  
An aching pain spread across his chest as the memory of the day before returned to Ryeowook. He let out a gasp as the thought of Kyuhyun…Kyuhyun was lost, and at the mercy of a madman. “No, I am not alright. This can’t be happening…not Kyuhyun…not aga…it can’t be happening.”  
  
Sungmin was up and out of his bed immediately, and before Ryeowook could comprehend what was happening, Sungmin took one of his hands and grasped it tightly. “He will be fine. Kyuhyun’s strong…this warlord doesn’t even have a chance against Kyuhyun. Once Kyuhyun starts his cunning, nobody is his match.”  
  
Ryeowook stared at the hand that was holding on to his so tightly. Months ago he would have jerked away, but now…now he just needed his friend. “I pray you are right,” Ryeowook whimpered. “How much does he have to suffer in one lifetime?”  
  
Sungmin tossed caution aside and pulled the young doctor into a hug. “We will find him. The captain is already on ZhouMi’s trail, and you know he won’t stop ‘til he finds him…none of us will.”  
  
********************  
  
  
Jaejoong watched Sungmin and Ryeowook embracing from the doorway to Changmin’s sickbay room where he stood. Jaejoong could imagine Sungmin comforting Kyuhyun in a very similar way after Ryeowook had been assumed lost after the tragedy that had stranded the Expectations in this galaxy. Kyuhyun, with his wounded psyche, had demanded a different kind of comfort from the security chief in his anguish, and Sungmin with his long repressed feelings for the other man, had been unable to resist.  
  
Perhaps he had judged the security chief too harshly, Jaejoong conceded, only to himself. Sungmin most definitely wasn’t the villain that Jaejoong had made him out to be. He was just misguided, and once again, the security chief was enamored with…  
  
“Where is Yunho?” Changmin demanded from behind Jaejoong in his bed, startling the Joong from his thoughts.  
  
Jaejoong wheeled around to find the younger man glaring at him, full of accusation. Jaejoong swallowed nervously, not accustomed to this…this Joong version of Changmin. “He left during the night.”  
  
“He was here?”  
  
“Yes, you were sleeping. He didn’t want to wake you. He stayed a couple hours, and then he left. He has much planning to do,” Jaejoong explained as he walked back toward the chair that he had spent the night in. Once Yunho had left, Jaejoong had been unable to fall back to sleep. His mind refused to let him rest, as he dwelled on how Changmin would accept the news of his parentage, and if Yunho would ever truly forgive him.  
  
“What were you just doing? You looked…” Changmin paused not sure if he wanted to explain further.  
  
“Changmin, I was never able to read your mind easily, and now it is impossible,” Jaejoong pointed out to him.  
  
“You just looked sad…does Yunho hate you now?” Changmin asked, covering what might sound like worry with insolence.  
  
Jaejoong sighed and sat down in the chair. “Yunho is…disappointed in me, but he doesn’t hate me. Ryeowook is feeling very intense emotions right now, and I was worried about him. I was about to go to him, but Lieutenant Lee stepped in to comfort him before I had time to act.”  
  
Changmin’s complexion that was perfectly creamy since his Joong half immerged turned deathly pale. “Because of Kyuhyun,” he asked, not even trying to hide his painful guilt.  
  
“Yes,” Jaejoong answered as he studied Changmin. Changmin, who had never looked as if he had inherited anything from Jaejoong before, now looked like the perfect combination of Jaejoong in his Joong form and Yunho. Although Changmin’s Joong characteristics were strong, he did not have the usual femininity that other Joong’s exhibited. Changmin would never be mistaken for a female.  
  
Changmin immediately attempted to get out of bed, but was stopped by the force field placed on the bed to prevent him from getting up, when sedating Changmin proved impossible. “I have to get up. I have to help save Kyuhyun.”  
  
Jaejoong shook his head. “No, you just have to rest.”  
  
“No, I’m fine,” Changmin insisted, suddenly on the verge of tears. “I am completely healed. I have to help. I have to get out of this bed, call Ryeowook…” Changmin paused as he suddenly looked horrified as the memory of what he had done the day before returned. “Are Junsu, Ryeowook and Sungmin okay?”  
  
“They are fine,” Jaejoong quickly answered as he got up from the chair to stand closer to the bed. “And you are most certainty not fine,” Jaejoong told his son, who looked close to hysterics.  
  
Changmin reached up and rubbed his head with both hands. “I am not thinking clearly…I didn’t remember. Am…am…I…brain impaired?”  
  
“Changmin,” Jaejoong told him firmly. “You are not brain impaired. You have to adapt to your Joong abilities…it’s going to take time.”  
  
Changmin dropped his hands away from his head as another memory returned. “This necklace,” Changmin said wrapping a hand around the necklace he wore around his neck. “This necklace is protecting others from me?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“Then I can go help the others find Kyuhyun. It will be safe,” Changmin reasoned.  
  
Jaejoong shook his head again. “The necklace keeps you from hurting others with your newfound telepathy and it keeps the feelings of others from overwhelming you, but you have to learn to control your own emotions again.”  
  
“I am in perfect control of my own emotions,” Changmin protested, but the tears running down his face did not support his stance.  
  
Jaejoong gave Changmin a look of pure sympathy. “No, you are not. Changmin, you always kept a tight hold on your emotions, but your Joong side will not allow that now. Joongs feel almost everything.”  
  
“I don’t want to feel anything!” Changmin exclaimed.  
  
Jaejoong was grateful for the force field that gave him a good excuse for not reaching out to touch his son, to try to comfort…comfort him like Yunho would have. “I’m sorry, but it doesn’t work that way. A Joong must know his own emotions before he can take on the emotions of others.”  
  
“I don’t want to be a Joong! I want don’t want to feel other people’s emotions, and I sure as hell don’t want to read their minds!” Changmin yelled at Jaejoong as he kicked against the force field.  
  
Jaejoong inhaled a deep breath. “I’m sorry, but you are half Joong, and you are going to have to learn to deal with that.”  
  
“Well, maybe if you hadn’t lied to me since the day you came aboard this ship, none of this would have happened,” Changmin accused, continuing to kick against the force field. “Your lies are the reason for all of this!”  
  
Jaejoong closed his eyes and struggled to remain calm, and tried to reason with his erratic son. “What I did…I did to protect you. Time is not something to trifle with, and it was safer for you to keep your Joong abilities submerged.”  
  
“What if I don’t believe you,” Changmin yelled, also hitting the force field with his fists now. “I have to get out of here, so I can help them. Yunho needs my help!”  
  
Jaejoong’s patience wavered and he snapped at Changmin. “Help them? Do you think you would be any help to Yunho now? He’s worried enough about you. He will be mentally checking in with me any moment to ask how you are. Do you really want me to tell him how illogical you are being?”  
  
“Illogical?” Changmin repeated. He stopped kicking and hitting the force field as the word registered in his head.  
  
“Yes, illogical,” Jaejoong told him. “You are hitting and kicking a force field that even I know you can’t defeat. You are on the verge of hysterics, and you are crying uncontrollably. Do you really want me to report this to Yunho?”  
  
Changmin shook his head, gazing at Jaejoong like a lost child.  
  
“I know this must be so hard for you. I can’t even imagine how overwhelming it is for you, but it wasn’t done in malice…and I will help you. It will get better, but right now you have to calm down,” Jaejoong informed Changmin in a calmer, but unwavering voice.  
  
Changmin kept his eyes locked with Jaejoong. “But I could help,” Changmin protested stubbornly.  
  
Jaejoong couldn’t help but smile at Changmin. “Not this time, you have to help yourself first. You almost died…you have had so much to deal with in so little time. Just stop and catch your breath…let yourself heal mentally.”  
  
Before Changmin could reply to Jaejoong, Heechul strolled into Changmin’s sickbay room and advised, “Listen to your mommy, and be a good boy. If you behave yourself, I might give you a lollipop.”  
  
Jaejoong stared at Heechul, wondering if the madness had returned without him detecting it.  
  
“He is not my mom…well, he’s not exactly my mother,” Changmin pouted, folding his arms.  
  
Heechul snorted, amused. “You can call him whatever you want, but it’s a fact that you sprouted from his womb, so I’m going to refer to him as your mother.”  
  
Jaejoong unconsciously folded his arms in a very similar way as Changmin. He did not like being referred to as Changmin’s mother. He resisted the urge to point out that Joongs did not designate parents as mother and father, but remembered how Ryeowook had reacted to a similar admission from him. He realized since Changmin had been raised as a human, his denial might come off sounding callous, and upsetting his emotional son even more was the last thing he wanted. “So, you are here to examine him?”  
  
“Yes, I am,” Heechul said as he walked to the bed and disabled the force field. “If you would kindly step out and give me some privacy with my patient.”  
  
This time Jaejoong snorted. “Really?”  
  
Heechul turned around and smiled at Jaejoong. “Let’s pretend you are not going to read my mind, and that you are going to respect Changmin’s privacy.”  
  
“Okay, sure let’s pretend that,” Jaejoong said, smiling right back at Heechul before he stepped out of the room, shutting the door behind him. Jaejoong realized Heechul wasn’t crazy again…just annoying. Jaejoong knew he was the only person on this ship that could help Changmin, and if the doctor thought he was going to let anything about Changmin’s condition get past him, the doctor was worse than crazy…he was stupid.  
  
Heechul looked at the still-pouting Changmin and reached out and tugged on Changmin’s earlobe. “Your mommy is totally listening to my thoughts, so I am going to think some really special ones for him involving your daddy.”  
  
  
*************************  
  
  
Seung-hyun anxiously waited for Lord ZhouMi to enter the cargo bay. Seung-hyun knew his Lordship had been in a most foul mood since they had left the planet Trysor. The news that Jaejoong had escaped earlier than planned had unnerved Lord ZhouMi greatly, and for good reason.  
  
It was widely known that Jaejoong’s mate had at his command a ship that was far superior to any other ship in the known galaxy. Lord ZhouMi knew the captain and Jaejoong would be coming for their child, and he was smart enough to know that if Jaejoong was ever given the chance, he would gladly kill him. Seung-hyun remembered back to the time Jaejoong had been on the ship, and knew that Jaejoong’s wrath would not be unwarranted.  
  
To make matters worse, somebody had poisoned Lord ZhouMi’s prize pet while he had been on the planet Trysor, and the medical staff had been unable to save the animal’s life. Seung-hyun was not a fan of the oversized dog, but its death had sent Lord ZhouMi into a rage. The fact that they had been unable to find the culprit did not improve Lord ZhouMi’s mood.  
  
Seung-hyun’s obedience and loyalty to Lord ZhouMi was absolute, but it did not mean he did not fear the warlord. Since they had left Trysor, all aboard the ship cowered in fear of Lord ZhouMi as he stalked around the ship, insisting that his personal guards never leave his side. The warlord had been forced to delay collecting his prize for days, in hopes of erasing all traces of his location. Seung-hyun prayed that the Joong would still be alive; he feared for all aboard the ship if the box was opened to only provide them with a dead Joong. He could not imagine the fury the warlord would unleash on them all if he was denied his prize. Seung-hyun, who had no memory of his encounter with Changmin, thanks to Hyun Joong, hoped the half Joong was everything that Lord ZhouMi wished him to be.  
  
Seung-hyun stiffened as the doors to the cargo bay opened, and Lord ZhouMi strolled inside, wearing all white, with four members of his personal guard behind him. He immediately took in the metal box that was centered in the middle of the cargo bay on display for him.  
  
“Open it,” ZhouMi ordered as he stalked toward the box. The ship’s guards that were guarding the box opened the door to the box, and allowed it to drop to the floor. “Bring out my Changmin first.”  
  
Two guards immediately disappeared inside the box and quickly returned, dragging a weakened Kyuhyun between them.  
  
ZhouMi examined Kyuhyun with unimpressed eyes as he walked closer toward him. Kyuhyun swallowed nervously, hoping his plan would work, as the warlord approached him, and reached down and pulled up the bloody uniform top that Kyuhyun had taken off an unconscious Changmin.  
  
Kyuhyun hid his relief as he saw the glint of approval in the warlord’s eyes as he inspected Kyuhyun’s smooth stomach that had no traces of a deadly wound ever being there. “The Joong did not appear to be lying about your heritage, but he took great liberties with your physical description. Flawless, I think not. You must take after your father,” ZhouMi hissed as he reached up and grabbed Kyuhyun firmly by the chin and stared him in the eye. “There is intelligence in those eyes, though.”  
  
“You should release me; holding me hostage will only bring ruin to you,” Kyuhyun managed to get out, as he wondered how Hyun Joong had described Changmin. Changmin and he had basic similarities, but how in depth had the Joong gone when describing his friend? Was it possible that he would be able to fool ZhouMi into thinking he was Changmin? If he could, then he could possible buy himself enough time for the captain to rescue him.  
  
ZhouMi released Kyuhyun’s chin and took a step back, but didn’t take his eyes off Kyuhyun. “I have no delusions that your parents will come after me…you do know who your parents are, don’t you?”  
  
“I’m not an idiot, and I’m not at the mercy of that Joong’s mind manipulations any longer,” Kyuhyun answered, trying to play the part of an angry son who had been lied to.  
  
“Don’t be so harsh with Jaejoong…he knows better than most what powerful men will do to possess their own personal Joong. He was wise to hide you.”  
  
“Not wise enough,” Kyuhyun spat back.  
  
ZhouMi grinned at Kyuhyun showing all his teeth. “No, not wise enough. It is unfortunate that you are not in your Joong form…were you ever?” ZhouMi asked curiously.  
  
“Joong form? No, all I know was that one minute I was dying, and then I wasn’t,” Kyuhyun replied, trying to sound mystified. Kyuhyun wished he knew more about Joongs, especially half Joongs…but he had known Changmin for years, and Changmin looked completely human.  
  
“I must apologize ahead of time, because I am going to have to try my best to get the beautiful Joong half of you that you inherited from Jaejoong to immerge,” ZhouMi said, almost sadly.  
  
Kyuhyun’s eyes widened, resisting the urge to pull away from the two men that were holding him up. He knew he was weakened from being crammed in the box for days. “And how will you do that?”  
  
“My poor Changmin, by any way I can, I assure you,” ZhouMi explained as he continued to look Kyuhyun over. “You are not so bad looking after all. I imagine you clean up well, and really once we are bonded…they say love makes everything beautiful.”  
  
“You want to bond with me,” Kyuhyun asked recoiling, trying to sound surprised.  
  
“No, Changmin, my love, I am going to bond with you. You will be mine in all ways,” ZhouMi told him confidently as he looked past Kyuhyun to a man standing behind him. “Now.”  
  
Before Kyuhyun knew what was happening, he felt a sharp prick on his shoulder, and a feeling of euphoria filled him. “What did you do?” Kyuhyun demanded as he fought against the calming effects of the drug.  
  
“My darling Changmin, you are the son of Jaejoong…I can’t trust a word out of your mouth,” ZhouMi explained as he stroked the pink necklace around his neck. “I know if I left you at your own devices, you would be plotting your escape at this very moment. This way…you won’t care about what happens to you. It’s better this way.”  
  
Kyuhyun tried to fight against the calming affects of the drug. If this drug was also a truth serum…then he was dead already. “I can’t think…I need to think.”  
  
“You don’t need to think,” ZhouMi informed him as he stepped up closer and caressed Kyuhyun’s cheek as he leered at him. “We are going to have so much fun together. I can’t wait.”  
  
“Fun?” Kyuhyun asked, as a giggle escaped his mouth. He couldn’t stop laughing. Why was everything so funny now, he asked himself.  
  
ZhouMi smiled at Kyuhyun, and then snapped his fingers and two scantily clothed women appeared beside him. “Take him and bath him…the smell. Being stuck in that box resulted in an awful odor,” ZhouMi said, rubbing his nose. “I want him bathed and prepared for me. Then, I want him taken to my bedchambers.”  
  
“Yes, My Lord,” the women replied as they took a happily compliant Kyuhyun from the guards.  
  
ZhouMi turned and pointed at two of his personal guards that had followed him into the cargo bay. “You two go with them. Although it appears his Joong half has submerged itself again after healing him, I will take no chances. Drugs have very little effect on full blooded Joongs and I want him watched closely. Do not let him out of your sight.”  
  
“Yes, My Lord,” the guards answered as one, and quickly took off after the women and the drugged Kyuhyun.  
  
ZhouMi eyes that had softened after speaking to Kyuhyun had hardened again and were now glued to the box in front of him. “Bring out the traitor.”  
  
Two guards disappeared inside the box and not long after they reappeared, dragging a struggling Shindong with them. Shindong attempted to escape the strong guards, to no avail.  
  
“On your knees,” ZhouMi ordered and the guards quickly pushed a dehydrated, weakened, and very frightened Shindong down. “You smell like the filth you are.”  
  
Shindong closed his eyes, unable to face the warlord, and prepared to beg for his life. “I’m sorry…My Lord.”  
  
“You are sorry!” ZhouMi yelled. “Are you sorry for betraying me?”  
  
Shindong opened his eyes to only stare at the floor of the cargo bay, not daring to meet the enraged warlord’s gaze. “I didn’t mean to, my lord. Jaejoong didn’t give me a choice. When I arrived on the planet…Jaejoong had already escaped the Zusaders and bonded with the captain. He was controlling me.”  
  
ZhouMi snarled and moved close enough to kick Shindong hard in the stomach, causing him to cry out in pain. “And why did you go to that planet in the first place? I will tell you why! You went to steal Jaejoong! You went to steal my Jaejoong! My perfect…beautiful Joong! You wanted to take him from me! The captain just beat you to him!”  
  
“No, no, no,” Shindong cried, holding onto his stomach.  
  
“Yes, yes, yes,” ZhouMi said, mocking Shindong. “Tell me, you slimy, traitorous piece of filth, what do I do with traitors? Do you remember what I do to people who betray me?”  
  
Shindong, who was trembling all over, forced his head up to look at the incensed ZhouMi and pleaded, “Please…please don’t feed me to Pookie.”  
  
ZhouMi frowned at the mention of his dead pet and shouted at Shindong, “Do not mention him! Don’t you dare mention him! Not ever! Never say his name again!”  
  
“I am sorry…I am so sorry, My Lord,” Shindong pleaded, unprepared for ZhouMi’s unexpected response to his pet’s name being spoken.  
  
ZhouMi clenched his fists in anger. “I am not going to feed you to….to anybody. I’m not going to kill you. You won’t be so lucky!”  
  
Shindong paled even more, and panicked. “No, please I take it back…please kill me.”  
  
ZhouMi chuckled; his mood instantly improved, and replied with delight, “No, you are going to be my new pet. My new pet…what shall I name you? What about Shinkie? Yes, I like that. You are going to be my loyal pet from this moment on.”  
  
Shindong stared at ZhouMi, completely bewildered…it couldn’t be that easy he thought. “Your pet?”  
  
“Yes, my pet,” ZhouMi informed him happily. “But there are rules with being my pet…you are not allowed to walk upright.”  
  
“I won’t!” Shindong assured ZhouMi quickly.  
  
“Well,” ZhouMi shrugged. “Just to make sure you don’t forget, I am going to have your legs from your knees down removed. I wouldn’t want you to accidently break any rules.”  
  
“My legs?” Shindong whispered, as sweat began to drip down his face.  
  
“Yes, and the guards will be getting to that as soon as I leave,” ZhouMi said as he slid his hands down the splendid white garment he was wearing. “I can’t have any of the blood splashing on this lovely outfit, can I?”  
  
Shindong whimpered, realizing his fate.  
  
“Now, Shinkie don’t cry…most people that betray me don’t live to talk about it…oh, wait. I kind of like that saying…not living to talk about it. I suppose I will just have to have your tongue cut out also,” ZhouMi informed a distraught Shindong with pure venom.  
  
“Please…please…please,” Shindong beseeched, as his body trembled all over.  
  
“Now, Shinkie there is only one person I want to hear beg, and it’s not you,” ZhouMi smirked and told Shindong, before turning away from him and heading for the exit.  
  
Seung-hyun, who had been patiently waiting for his lord at the door, bowed his head as the warlord approached.  
  
“Seung-hyun, I am going to go to the bridge and order to have Hyun Joong’s mate released, and then I don’t want to be disturbed.”  
  
“Yes, My Lord,” Seung-hyun answered as he followed Lord ZhouMi out of the cargo bay.  
  
“Although Changmin is not the beauty that the blasted Joong described…he is intriguing, and I’m not displeased. Plus, I get a new pet, so I will honor my deal with the Joong,” Lord ZhouMi explained in high spirits.  
  
Seung-hyun, who was very pleased to see his lord in such a good mood, resisted the urge to smile. “My Lord, you are a man of your word.”  
  
“Yes, I am,” Lord ZhouMi agreed.


	2. Chubwook

“How much longer ‘til we reach the second rebel outpost?” Captain Yunho asked from the upper bridge where he stood with Yong and Lieutenant Yesung.  
  
Ensign Junsu, who had been released from sickbay early that morning, along with Lieutenant Sungmin and Doctor Cho, turned and answered the Captain, “Thirty minutes, Captain.”  
  
“You will like Taeyang,” Yong informed the captain. “He’s a real goodie good shoes…much like yourself. He’s always going on and on about justice and fighting against tyranny.”  
  
Yunho turned and gave Yong a half smile. “Are you sure he’s a friend of yours?”  
  
“Ha! He’s an old friend. We’ve drifted apart, but we were good childhood friends. He doesn’t hold his own well-being in the same high regard as I hold mine,” Yong informed Captain Yunho.  
  
“That’s good to know,” Yunho told Yong, and then turned toward Lieutenant Yesung. “You have the bridge. I will meet you in the transporter room in approximately thirty minutes.”  
  
“Yes, Sir,” Yesung replied as he stepped forward to claim the captain’s chair.  
  
Yunho gave the bridge one last look over and stepped onto the lift and ordered it to take him to the twelfth floor where sickbay was located. Jaejoong was not being forthcoming with the telepathic updates regarding Changmin. Jaejoong simply assured him everything was fine, and Heechul wasn’t being much more corporative. Ensign Junsu, on the other hand, had spilled all he knew. Apparently, Changmin had been making quite the ruckus before Heechul had released Junsu, Sungmin, and Ryeowook from sickbay.  
  
Yunho wasn’t sure if Jaejoong was protecting him from the truth, so he could focus on getting Kyuhyun back, or if he was still pouting. Jaejoong’s response to Yunho’s anger at being lied to was acting as if he was the one being wronged. Yunho had tried to come to some kind of understanding the night before, but there was still something off about Jaejoong. Something distant…something not as warm.  
  
The doors to the lift opened, and Yunho stepped on the twelfth floor and found Jaejoong leaning against the corridor wall, waiting on him. Yunho’s eyes narrowed slightly; he had not felt Jaejoong in his mind. Was his mate now able to read him without alerting Yunho to the fact?  
  
“I wasn’t reading you. I was listening in on Yong,” Jaejoong said, answering Yunho’s unspoken question. “You told me to keep a close watch on all our guests.”  
  
“Yes, of course…sorry.”  
  
“Well, you’ve hardly slept in days, and you’ve been under a bit of stress,” Jaejoong pointed out, not taking offense, and instead, reaching out his hand.  
  
“A bit,” Yunho agreed, and took the hand that was offered to him. Physical proximity was always rewarded by the bond, and Yunho let the power of the bond rejuvenate him. If Jaejoong was willing to reach out his hand for him, Yunho was not fool enough to refuse it. He might be angry at his mate’s lies, but he needed him.  
  
Jaejoong led Yunho toward sickbay. “I mean, your truest love lied to you, your son’s nuts, and your first officer is missing.”  
  
“Don’t forget that the missing first officer is in the hands of an evil warlord, and now I have to befriend a bunch of reckless rebels in order to save him,” Yunho added as he walked toward sickbay, hand in hand with Jaejoong.  
  
“The rebels aboard the ship are already eating out of your hand…even that Yong fellow. Guide him, Yunho…Yong’s smart and very capable; he could do the warlords real harm if he took up with the rebellion.”  
  
“No, doubt he could do the warlords real harm if he put his mind to it, and he’d probably be running the rebellion within a year,” Yunho told Jaejoong. “Why didn’t you tell me the truth about Changmin’s behavior?”  
  
“I didn’t lie. I said everything was under control, and it is. Ensign Junsu shouldn’t have told you otherwise,” Jaejoong informed Yunho, not the least bit sorry for his omission.  
  
“Ensign Junsu is perhaps the worse liar in any galaxy, which is a good thing for me, because you and Heechul could tie for the best,” Yunho grumbled.  
  
Yunho immediately regretted his words when Jaejoong jerked his hand free of Yunho’s and spun around to face Yunho. “Excuse me for looking out for you. Changmin is an emotional wreck, he is insolent, and he has the attention span of a small bug.”  
  
“Jae, don’t be-”  
  
“Like what? Like a liar?” Jaejoong interrupted. “That’s how you see me now, isn’t it? The great liar of the galaxy?”  
  
Yunho forced himself to remain calm in the face of Jaejoong’s quick change in mood. Yunho reached up and placed both of his hands on each side of Jaejoong’s face. “Read me.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Read my mind. You seem to think that I’m suddenly just consumed with anger, and I’m not. I thought we came to an understanding last night, but apparently, words aren’t enough for you. Read my mind, read everything…know that I can be royally pissed off with you and still love you,” Yunho told Jaejoong earnestly, wanting to put an end to the weirdness between them.  
  
Jaejoong looked up at Yunho, his eyes filling with tears, but Yunho did not feel the familiar feeling of Jaejoong’s telepathy in his mind. “I can’t,” Jaejoong said, jerking away from Yunho, and walking quickly towards sickbay. “I know you love me…I’m just still feeling weird from the necklace. I’m too emotional…I hate it!”  
  
Yunho hurried after Jaejoong with a new worry. “If the necklace can do this to you…what is it going to do to Changmin?”  
  
Jaejoong came to a sudden halt, causing Yunho to run smack into him; only Yunho’s quick reflexes kept them both from tumbling to the floor. Yunho, who had Jaejoong in his arms, did not release his hold on him. Jaejoong swallowed nervously and explained, “Changmin is not bonded…the necklace will not have any lasting affects on him.”  
  
Yunho turned Jaejoong around in his arms, forcing his mate to face him. “I’m sorry they put it on you, but mostly I’m sorry for wearing it. I shouldn’t have.”  
  
Jaejoong closed his eyes, forcing the unshed tears to spill out, and cried out, “Don’t be nice to me right now! I can’t handle it!”  
  
“Jaejoong,” Yunho replied, shocked, as the other man broke free of his embrace.  
  
“No, I’m serious,” Jaejoong said, stepping out of Yunho’s reach. “Go make Changmin better.”  
  
“Make Changmin better?”  
  
“Yes, your presence will do wonders for him,” Jaejoong explained.  
  
Yunho eyed his uneasy mate with concern, and asked, “And what will you be doing?”  
  
Jaejoong took a second to collect himself and smiled back at Yunho. “I will be at your side like always; just don’t touch me.”  
  
Yunho’s mouth dropped open.  
  
Jaejoong laughed nervously at his speechless mate’s expression. “I know…you probably never expected to hear that from me, but please respect my wishes.”  
  
“You are right,” Yunho agreed. “I never really imagined you saying those words, but I will respect your wishes…and I am going to go see Changmin now.”  
  
“You do that.”  
  
“I am,” Yunho replied uneasily, finding his legs again and walking toward sickbay, while all the time wondering what the hell was going on with Jaejoong. Was it really only the side effects of the necklace?  
  
  
*******************  
  
  
“Changmin, it isn’t your fault,” Ryeowook could be heard telling the distraught science officer, as Jaejoong and Yunho entered their son’s sickbay room.  
  
Changmin, who was sitting up in bed with both fists clenched, demanded, “How can you say that? Kyuhyun would be here if it weren’t for me, and I almost killed you.”  
  
“I’m fine,” Ryeowook assured him.  
  
Changmin, who was oblivious to the fact that his parents had entered the room, kept starring at Ryeowook in disbelief. “Only because of some highly unlikely chance of circumstance, if Heechul’s sanity hadn’t returned…if it hadn’t, you, Junsu, and Sungmin would be dead.”  
  
“That’s not true,” Yunho said, alerting Changmin to his presence as he walked closer to the bed.  
  
Changmin flipped around in bed instantly upon hearing his father’s voice. “Yunho,” he whispered in relief.  
  
“If Heechul had not been sane, we would have put them in stasis. Nobody would have died,” Yunho told his son, reaching for Changmin but instantly coming in contact with the force field that kept Changmin contained to the bed. Yunho frowned. “Computer, disable the force field.”  
  
The crisp efficient computer responded promptly. “Full medical authorization is required to disable the force field on Lieutenant Jung.”  
  
“Disable the force field,” Ryeowook quickly repeated, and the force field vanished. Ryeowook then left the room leaving the family alone together.  
  
Yunho reached for Changmin’s hand, and told his son in a strong, commanding voice, “You have to do what the doctors tell you, or it has to go right back up.”  
  
Changmin nodded his head.  
  
“I’m sorry I haven’t been down here sooner, but I’ve been focused on getting Kyuhyun and Shindong back. Very soon we will rendezvous with some rebels that fight against the warlords, and they will be able to provide us with some very useful information,” Yunho explained.  
  
Changmin, who was clinging to Yunho’s hand tightly, insisted, “I could help if-”  
  
“No!” Yunho interrupted. “Absolutely not! You are to stay here and to do exactly as the doctors and Jaejoong tell you.”  
  
“But Yunho-”  
  
“No buts!” Yunho interrupted again to say resolutely. “This is not open for debate. I am the captain of this ship. I have to focus on rescuing our lost crew and not worrying about you. Do you understand me?”  
  
Changmin nodded his head, obeying his father…his captain, but he couldn’t help but scowl at Jaejoong, who was leaning up against the wall, watching them quietly. “Why do I have to listen to him?”  
  
“Do you know any other Joongs that can help you? You need to learn to deal with your other half so you can return to duty. Jaejoong is the only help you have on this ship.”  
  
“I think we do know of another Joong, don’t we! What about the one on Trysor?” Changmin snapped, still glaring at Jaejoong.  
  
Jaejoong pulled away from the wall, not backing down from Changmin’s heated gaze. “Yes, Hyun Joong, but unfortunately he isn’t going to live very long if I ever encounter him again.”  
  
“I thought you couldn’t kill people unless-”  
  
This time Jaejoong interrupted Changmin. “I think he’s already fulfilled all those requirements, don’t you?”  
  
Changmin turned away from Jaejoong and focused his attention back on Yunho. “Aren’t you mad at him? He lied to us.”  
  
“That is also not a topic that is open for discussion. You are half Joong, and like it or not, Jaejoong is your other parent.”  
  
“I am not a child!”  
  
“No, but you aren’t yourself either,” Yunho explained, sitting down on the bed beside Changmin. “There is a lot that has happened. I know we have a lot to discuss, but right now I need you to calm down, and get a handle on yourself.”  
  
Changmin looked away from Yunho and stared at the wall. “I know…but I can’t control my emotions. I just get so worked up. One minute I am angry, then I am happy, and then suddenly I will feel like crying.”  
  
“Changmin, that is totally understandable…you have dealt with so much. I hate being so firm with you, but this behavior has to stop. They had to use a force field to keep you in bed,” Yunho told Changmin in a kind, but disappointed voice.  
  
“I know,” Changmin conceded, closing his eyes, trying his hardest not to start crying.  
  
“So much is new to you right now, but disobeying your doctors isn’t helping anything. Just calm down, follow their instructions.”  
  
“I will,” Changmin answered, unable to keep the tears from spilling from his eyes. “I hate not being in control.”  
  
Yunho did what he had wanted to do since he entered sickbay and pulled Changmin into a tight hug. “I know you do. You will learn your control again. It’s only been a day; you have to give it time.”  
  
“I will try harder.”  
  
Yunho smiled and pulled away from Changmin and looked him straight in the eyes. “You know I love you.”  
  
Changmin nodded his head, wiping his eyes. “I love you, too.”  
  
Yunho struggled to hide his shock at Changmin’s words. Changmin had been seven years old and extremely upset that Yunho was going away for a week of space camp without him; the last time Yunho had heard Changmin say those words so effortlessly. “I have to welcome the rebels onboard. Jaejoong is going to go with me. Listen to the doctors,” Yunho said as he stood up.  
  
“I will,” Changmin promised.  
  
************  
  
Yunho and Jaejoong entered the transporter room where Sungmin and Yesung were already waiting with Yong for the new bunch of rebels to beam aboard.  
  
“Ready to meet up with old friends?” Yunho asked Yong as he walked up to stand on the other side of Yesung.  
  
Yong smirked. “Taeyang won’t be happy to see me, but like I said, he’s never been able to resist anybody in need. He will give you the information you need.”  
  
“We will see,” Yunho told Yong as he turned toward Donghae, who stood behind the transporter controls. “Beam them aboard, Lieutenant.”  
  
“Yes, Sir.”  
  
Instantly, three men dressed in old, tattered leather clothing appeared on the transporter platform. All of them were extremely thin, and they didn’t have an ounce of fat on their bodies to spare. Yunho knew these rebels had lived a hard life in their defense of the weaker people of the galaxy. Yunho instantly liked them.  
  
 _“The one on the left is the so-called leader of this rebel faction…or the closest thing they have,” Jaejoong telepathically informed his mate._  
  
Yunho stepped forward, extending his hand to the man on the left. “Welcome aboard the Expectations. I am Captain Jung Yunho.”  
  
The three men eyed each other nervously, having never encountered anything like the transporters before. The one on the left found his nerve first and reached out to take Yunho’s extended hand. “Umm…thank you. I am Taeyang, and these men with me are Seungri and Daesung.”  
  
Yunho nodded to the two other men. “I’m glad to make your acquaintance.”  
  
Taeyang stepped off the platform, his eyes glued to Yong with displeasure. “Ji Yong, I must be dreaming. You can’t be aboard a ship that intends to object to any warlord. Shouldn’t you be sleeping in some nice, warm, comfortable bed somewhere, blissfully ignoring the oppressed people of this galaxy?”  
  
Yunho did not miss Yong’s subtle flinch at Taeyang’s words, but the young man’s usual bravo was back in no time as he replied to his old friend, “Have you seen this ship? The beds here are really nice.”  
  
“Of course, they are,” Taeyang replied, not hiding his disappointment. “It’s always about you.”  
  
 _“If you don’t stop this, it’s going to go on and on. They have too much history between them.”_  
  
“You two can get reacquainted later. Right now, I’m only interested in getting my men back,” Yunho said, speaking up after following Jaejoong’s silent instructions.  
  
“I’m sorry, Captain,” Taeyang immediately apologized. “We will help you anyway we can to get your men back, but we have no idea where the Warlord ZhouMi is. All reports say he went into deep hiding.”  
  
“I intend to give him such hell, that he will be forced to come out of hiding. What I want from you is information on how I can best get his attention. If I help people doing so…all the better,” Yunho told the rebel leader.  
  
Taeyang smiled. “That I can help you with.”  
  
  
**************************  
  
“What the hell is with this galaxy and grotesque statues?” Kangin asked as the away team materialized on Giraffi, a ZhouMi controlled planet. The away team consisted of Yunho, Jaejoong, Kangin, Sungmin, and Taeyang.  
  
“It’s almost a perfect likeness,” Jaejoong grumbled as he looked up at the monstrosity that was a huge statue of the Warlord ZhouMi. The people who had been in the area the away team had beamed down to had stopped their work to stare at the people who had materialized out of thin air. The people were all thin, sickly, and clothed in rags.  
  
“The people of this planet who are not slaving away in the ore mines are forced to work on this monument to that bastard. If they rebel, then the ships hovering over this planet take out whole villages,” Taeyang said in barely suppressed outrage.  
  
Yunho reached out and clasped the angry rebel’s arm. “You mean the ships that were hovering over this planet; those ships have been confiscated. They can’t harm this planet’s people anymore. They are waiting in the Expectations cargo bay, to be given to the rebellion.”  
  
“Yes, you are right. They will never be used for tyranny ever again,” Taeyang said, letting out a deep breath. The Expectations has easily handled the three ships that had been orbiting the planet. Taeyang took special delight in knowing that ZhouMi’s own ships would be used against him.  
  
“The Governor of this planet is approaching,” Jaejoong said as he turned quickly, reaching out with his telepathy to sense for any danger.  
  
Sungmin, who was eying the poor, overworked people surrounding them in sympathy, said, “He must be an awful person…these poor people.”  
  
“That boy can’t be older than six,” Kangin said, frowning as he watched a small boy carrying a load of tools that easily outweighed him. “This is why the Federation exists…so this shit doesn’t happen.”  
  
“This is place beyond the reach of the Federation,” Yunho reminded Kangin gently, but he understood his rage all too well as he took in the people slaving away.  
  
“What is the meaning of all this?” A gray haired, middle-aged man demanded as he approached the away team. He was surrounded by seven very nervous-looking guards.  
  
“Your days of ruling this planet are over, Governor,” Taeyang told the approaching official with delight.  
  
“That is up to Lord ZhouMi,” the Governor replied anxiously. He was all too aware that the ships protecting Lord ZhouMi’s interests had disappeared, but his fear of displeasing the warlord was still great.  
  
“No, it’s up to me,” Yunho told the Governor. “I am Captain Jung Yunho of the Expectations, and I’m returning this planet to its people. Anybody who objects will find themselves exiled to the farthest reaches of this planet.”  
  
“Guards!” the Governor yelled, but the guards surrounding the governor turned and walked harmlessly away, following Jaejoong’s mental instructions to not get involved.  
  
“They won’t listen to you anymore,” Yunho told the Governor, and then turned toward the people surrounding them and said in a loud voice, full of command “I want everybody to step away from the monument now.”  
  
The people who had been watching the mysterious away team, moved quickly away from the huge monument.  
  
“What are you going to do,” the governor asked, sensing Yunho’s power.  
  
Yunho watched as the people around the monument hurried away. “I am going to show you exactly what I intend to do to Lord ZhouMi if he doesn’t return my people immediately.”  
  
“What?” the governor implored.  
  
Yunho tapped his insignia. “Commander is the monument cleared of life signs?”  
  
“Yes, Captain,” Commander Yoochun’s voice replied.  
  
“Then vaporize it,” Yunho ordered, and instantly phaser fire shot down from the sky hitting the huge monument. The crowds of people that had formed gasped in shock as the monument for their oppressor disappeared into nothingness. Yunho then turned to the Governor his eyes unusually hard. “You tell your Lord ZhouMi that I am coming for him.”  
  
  
*****************************  
  
  
 _“Not here with us, ChubWook,” Taecyeon’s hateful voice told a very shy Ryeowook, who had timidly approached the table with his food tray, where Kyuhyun sat with his friends eating lunch at the Academy’s mess hall.  
  
Kyuhyun looked up from his tray to glance at his shy, overweight roommate who had turned beet red at the older cadet’s words. A small smile formed on Kyuhyun’s face; he said nothing, but the smile encouraged Taecyeon to continue with his behavior.  
  
“See, there is a weight limit at this table,” Taecyeon informed Ryeowook. Ryeowook swallowed nervously and took off quickly before he could hear more hurtful words.  
  
The others cadets sitting at the table, with the exception of Eunhyuk and Sungmin, who were staring down at their food intensely, started laughing as Ryeowook hurried away, humiliated.  
  
“How did you get such a fat ass as roommate?” Uee asked from across the table. “And during your second year?”  
  
“Just lucky, I guess,” Kyuhyun told the table drily, causing the table to break out in laughter again.  
  
“It’s a shame you are stuck with him as a roomie. I mean even you wouldn’t fuck that walking piece of blubber,” Taecyeon couldn’t resist saying, causing the table to burst out in even more laughter.  
  
Kyuhyun just grinned.  
  
Jessica, who was sitting beside Uee, asked, “How do you even get fat on synthesized food?”  
  
“He’s from some Earth colony where technology is frowned upon,” Kyuhyun answered.  
  
Sungmin pondered Kyuhyun’s words, and asked curiously, “So he is from off world…why is he only joining the academy now?”  
  
Kyuhyun turned and faced Sungmin, who was sitting beside him.  “Why so curious?”  
  
“Sungmin likes them fat,” Taecyeon smarted.  
  
“I’d prefer an overweight person to a prehistoric bully,” Sungmin snapped back at Taecyeon.  
  
“Ouch,” Taecyeon replied, lifting his hands up in surrender.  
  
“He’s a med student,” Kyuhyun said, finally answering Sungmin. “He was finishing up classes, and then he got-” Kyuhyun abruptly stopped talking as he took in the sight of his mother entering the mess hall. The whole mess hall went quiet as they noticed the highly decorated admiral.  
  
“That’s your mom! You have to introduce me,” Uee insisted, not able to hide her excitement at seeing the high ranking admiral.  
  
Taeyceon’s eyes went wide, never leaving the admiral. “Kyuhyun, you have to introduce me first. I can’t believe Admiral Cho just walked into the freaking mess hall.”  
  
Kyuhyun stood up, glaring at his mother, and stormed away from the table, not bothering to reply to any of his so-called friends. He was infuriated. How dare she show up at the academy? It was hard enough being her son, without her showing up and reminding everybody who he was.  
  
“Why didn’t you just bring dad with you?” Kyuhyun hissed under his breath as he walked up to his mother.  
  
Admiral Cho gave her son a quick glance and then looked back to the tables full of cadets. “You know your father is on Andoria overseeing the Federation Trade Conference.”  
  
“You can’t just show up here! I told you not to come and see me,” Kyuhyun whispered under his breath to his mother.  
  
“I’m not here to see you, Kyuhyun,” Admiral Cho told her irritated son, her eyes still searching the mess hall.  
  
“You’re not?”  
  
“No, I am here to see somebody else.”  
  
“Oh, are you here to see your latest charity project?” Kyuhyun asked louder, unable to hide his irritation. It was bad enough that his mother had decided to take that backwater boy under her wing…but for her to come visit him during lunch. It was humiliating.  
  
Admiral Cho smiled as she caught sight of Ryeowook sitting at one of the very back tables with another boy. “No, darling, I am here to see a delightful boy, who has great potential. I’ve known of his potential from first minute I met him.”  
  
Before Kyuhyun could respond, his mother was walking off toward Ryeowook. Kyuhyun was in a dilemma; if he went back to his table, it would be obvious to all that his mother, the great admiral, had not come to see her son, but instead his roommate. Kyuhyun frowned and took off after his mother.  
  
The minute Ryeowook saw the admiral his whole face lit up in joy. He stood up, headed toward the admiral, and greeting her with a warm hug. Kyuhyun’s mouth dropped open in shock as his mother laughed and hugged his roommate back.  
  
“Come let’s sit down,” the admiral said, wrapping an arm around Ryeowook and leading him back toward the table he had been sitting at.  
  
“Admiral, it’s so good to see you,” Ryeowook said relieved, sitting back down at the table.  
  
Kyuhyun’s mother sat down beside him, still smiling. “It’s good to see you too. I hope everything is going well.”  
  
“It’s awful!” Ryeowook proclaimed.  
  
Kyuhyun winced at Ryeowook’s words as he sat down beside the boy who had been sitting with his roommate. Kyuhyun recognized him as Jung Changmin; they shared a few advanced math classes together. Changmin was the most intelligent of all the cadets at the academy…and most likely the professors, too. He was also the younger brother of the star upper classman, Jung Yunho.  
  
“I’m sorry to hear that, Ryeowook,” the admiral told Ryeowook. “Is it the classes?”  
  
“No, the classes are fine. If I have any trouble with the classes Changmin helps me,” Ryeowook answered and pointed to the other cadet sitting opposite of him. Kyuhyun frowned he had not known his roommate had befriended Changmin…something he had been unable to do.  
  
Admiral Cho smiled at Changmin. “Cadet Jung, your extraordinary intelligence hasn’t escaped the notice of anyone.”  
  
“Thank you, Admiral,” Changmin answered, bowing his head in respect.  
  
The admiral turned back to Ryeowook.  “Ryeowook, what is the problem if it isn’t the classes?”  
  
Ryeowook looked nervously at Kyuhyun, who was warning him with his eyes not to say a thing. “I…I…” Ryeowook began, but paused.  
  
“He’s being bullied,” Changmin answered for him. “And your son is the ringleader of the group of smug, small-minded ruffians.”  
  
“What!” Kyuhyun sputtered. “I never!”  
  
Changmin turned to look at Kyuhyun arching his left eyebrow. “You allow it to happen and you encourage it by your silence.”  
  
“Kyuhyun,” the admiral whispered as if her heart was breaking.  
  
“Mother! I don’t know what they…” the look on Ryeowook’s face stopped Kyuhyun’s denial, and he gritted his teeth. He had allowed the others to take sport in Ryeowook’s awkwardness, and he had enjoyed every minute of it.  
  
“Kyuhyun, you of all people…” the admiral trailed off, not finishing her thought. “The bullying must stop now. I will not allow such behavior to happen at the academy. I will have you all suspended if it continues…even you, Kyuhyun.”  
  
“Yes, Admiral,” Kyuhyun answered, purposely antagonizing his mother by referring to her rank.  
  
The admiral shook her head still in disbelief. “Bullying at the academy…I had hoped we had evolved past this as a race.”  
  
“To take pleasure in the displeasure of others seems to be a weakness of humanity.  Although the more intelligent, empathic and mature of our species seem less inclined toward this behavior,” Changmin pointed out.  
  
“But as you know, the academy has very demanding criteria before one is accepted, so for it take place here is very disquieting,” the admiral reminded Changmin.  
  
“Yes, but some are always more gifted than others. Those who feel inferior will always have the tendency to group together with similarly minded people to foster their own feelings of superiority. They will always lash out at what they perceive to be different, weak, or to those who they are jealous of. I believe the bullying at the academy will continue for however long as people with certain blood relations are given allowances and not accepted to the academy on their own merit alone,” Changmin explained rationally.  
  
“Excuse me!” Kyuhyun exclaimed, immediately taking offense. “I will have you know I passed every entrance exam with flying colors. I am here on my own merit.”  
  
“But that can not be said of all your gang, now, can it?” Changmin replied, unbothered by the angry cadet sitting beside him.  
  
Kyuhyun’s eyes narrowed. “Intelligence isn’t everything.”  
  
“Kyuhyun, perhaps you should return to your table,” the admiral told her son.  
  
“No,” Kyuhyun said defiantly. He was the only person in the whole academy, who would disobey the admiral. “I am going to stay right here.”  
  
“I am sure the moment I am gone, you will return to your table of bullies,” the admiral told her son distastefully.  
  
Kyuhyun just folded his arms, refusing to answer her.  
  
“Ryeowook, I am very sorry that you have had such a bad time here at the academy,” Admiral Cho told the cadet sitting beside her.  
  
Ryeowook, whose eyes were going back and forth between the admiral and her son, replied, “I don’t want to sound ungrateful…but maybe I could have a different roommate? I am sure it would be better for everybody.”  
  
“No, I don’t think so,” the admiral replied, surprising all at the table as she stood up to leave. “You see, my son isn’t the soulless boy he pretends to be. He’s actually quite wonderful…he’s just lost sight of that.”  
  
Kyuhyun, whose arms were still folded, glared up at his mother and told her bitterly, “But Mother, I’ve lost so much…how can you be sure the wonderfulness wasn’t lost, too?”  
  
Admiral Cho reached across the table and gently placed a hand to her angry, disillusioned child’s face. “Because I’m your mother.”  
  
Kyuhyun jerked his face away from his mother’s touch as if it burned, and told her, not hiding any of his resentment, “You are my mother when it suits the Federation and Star Fleet…and when it doesn’t, I’m just another casuality of the job.”  
  
The admiral jerked back away from the table as if he had reached up and slapped her. “I have to go now,” the admiral said weakly as she turned and walked away, not giving the table another glace.  
  
Kyuhyun stopped glaring after his mother and turned to glare defensively at her charity project, but instead of finding rage staring back at him… he only saw concern. Ryeowook didn’t look angry at him for insulting his benefactor, and he didn’t look disturbed by Kyuhyun’s rude behavior; instead, he just looked worried for him.  
  
“Why did she not deny that?” Ryeowook asked, his eyes not leaving Kyuhyun.  
  
Kyuhyun looked away from the concern in Ryeowook’s eyes and stared down at the table uncomfortably. Why would his roommate show concern for him? He had shown him only cruelty. He knew he should get up and leave the table, but something had shifted inside of him. “Because she can’t deny it. It’s the truth.”  
  
_  
***********************  
  
  
Kyuhyun awoke from a listless sleep, staring up at the ceiling in the bedchambers that belonged to the warlord that called himself ZhouMi. Kyuhyun wondered why he had dreamed of that encounter with Ryeowook…there were so many better, more enjoyable memories to dream of. Memories full of mutual love and passion, why dream of that old version of himself…the version he was most ashamed of.  
  
Was it because it was the first time that Ryeowook had really reached him? The concern in Ryeowook’s eyes had stirred to life a part of Kyuhyun’s soul that he had thought was lost to him. The part of Kyuhyun’s soul that would hand himself over to a warlord in order to save a friend.  
  
The haze of the drugs that ZhouMi kept him saturated in cleared, and Kyuhyun closed his eyes as the occurrences in the bed the night before came back to him. He wished ZhouMi’s doctor would hurry and return. He wished to be filled full of the drugs that took away the sting of rape. He did not want such memories; he had too many of them already…he only wanted to dream of Ryeowook.  
  
The body beside him stirred, and Kyuhyun kept his eyes firmly shut. Kyuhyun listened as the warlord slid out of bed and moved around the room. Kyuhyun contemplated killing the warlord. His Star Fleet training would give him a definite advantage, but he knew although his mind was clearing, his body was still too weakened by the drugs.  
  
“Changmin, I know you are awake,” the warlord said from the side of the bed where he stood.  
  
Kyuhyun opened his eyes, responding to the name of his friend as if it were his own. He stared up at the warlord and answered, “Yes, you are correct.”  
  
The warlord huffed and shook his head, disappointed, as he stared down at what he thought was his prize half Joong. “No beautiful blue eyes….still human.”  
  
“Am I?”  
  
“Yes,” the warlord grumbled as he slid on a black robe. “Although I’m not nearly as displeased with you…as I initially thought I would be, I’m still unhappy that you are not in your Joong form yet.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
The warlord tilted his head, giving Kyuhyun a curious glance and asked, “My Love, did nasty Jaejoong tell you nothing of Joongs?”  
  
Kyuhyun shook his head, still staring up at the warlord, and lied with ease, “No, he only monopolized my father’s time and did his best to avoid me. I know nothing of Joongs…except that my father can never break free of him.”  
  
ZhouMi sat down on the bed beside Kyuhyun very interested now. “So your father tried to free himself?”  
  
Kyuhyun answered, “Yes, he tried for weeks…but his wellbeing was tied to Jaejoong’s. If he tried to leave him…he got terribly sick.”  
  
“I can not even imagine what kind of people you must come from…to try to be rid of a Joong. Your father has no clue as to the prize he has in Jaejoong. Oh, if Jaejoong had just given into me, you wouldn’t be here now.”  
  
“If Jaejoong had given into you…I wouldn’t be anywhere,” Kyuhyun pointed out, as if he were Changmin.  
  
ZhouMi laughed. “So true, but you might wish that yet if you do not take on your Joong form soon,” ZhouMi informed the man lying on the bed that he had taken Kyuhyun repeatedly on during the night. “Changmin, you’re quite unusual.”  
  
“Am I? Or it is the drugs?”  
  
“Yes, it could be the drugs,” ZhouMi agreed, and then he got up from the bed and walked to the door to the bedchamber. He hit a panel and the door opened. “Bring me my pet,” ZhouMi demanded of the guards outside the door.  
  
At the mention of his pet, Kyuhyun struggled to sit up in the bed, instantly worried for the man who had accompanied him on this trip into hell. “Where is Shindong?”  
  
“Oh, he’s on his way,” ZhouMi answered as he poured himself a drink from the bar in the room.  
  
Was the madman going to feed Shindong to the damn dog, and make Kyuhyun watch? Kyuhyun cursed himself for not paying better attention to the guards outside the door. He couldn’t allow anything like that to happen. Shindong had feared it. There had to be a way to escape. Kyuhyun tried his best to focus on escape…there was always a way to escape…or should he just wait for the captain? He knew the captain would be searching for him.  
  
The doors to bedchambers opened and the sight that assaulted Kyuhyun’s eyes made him physically ill. Shindong crawling on his hands and knees entered the room completely naked, except for the black collar around his neck. Kyuhyun was unable to keep from looking away after noticing that Shindong’s legs had been cut off just above the knees and he crawled on stumps.  
  
“Oh, there is my doggie!” the warlord proclaimed joyfully. “Oh Shinkie, I knew you would make a perfect pet. I’m so glad I didn’t kill you after all.”  
  
Kyuhyun listened as ZhouMi went on and on praising Shindong like he was his most treasured pet. Nausea built in his stomach…Kyuhyun hated the doubt that was building in him. What had he gotten himself into? When Shindong had said in the box that Kyuhyun should kill them…Kyuhyun was starting to wonder if the man had been right. Then Kyuhyun reprimanded himself…he just had to wait for the captain. Ryeowook could heal Shindong.  
  
“Changmin!” the warlords sharp, high pitched voice made Kyuhyun snap out of his thoughts. The warlord had both hands on his hips, looking extremely irritated. “What do you think of Shinkie?”  
  
Kyuhyun forced himself to turn around to face the warlord and Shindong…whose eyes looked dead. “I think you’re…” Kyuhyun paused, “I think you better pray that my father never finds you.”  
  
The warlord flipped his hand unbothered by Kyuhyun’s threat. “I have very little fear of your daddy…you will be my happily bonded Joong by the time he finds us…if he ever does. To kill me, would be to kill you.”  
  
“I highly doubt that,” Kyuhyun snapped back.  
  
“Oh, you will be my mate,” ZhouMi vowed and something in ZhouMi’s eyes went cold, making Kyuhyun nervous. “I see the drugs are leaving your system now…good. I think perhaps I was too gentle with you last night. Maybe you need to be truly traumatized to convert…or maybe we need to return you to death’s door.”  
  
Kyuhyun mentally cursed himself…he had pushed the warlord too far. This man was not stable, and Kyuhyun chastised himself for not playing along with the insanity. “I’m sorry…it’s just seeing a person tortured…I am not used to such sights.”  
  
ZhouMi’s cold eyes did not leave Kyuhyun as he reached down and petted Shindong’s head. “This is not torture…this is my kindness. He gets to live. I will love him, feed him, and provide with him shelter in exchange for him being my loving pet. Shinkie is very lucky.”  
  
“I’m sorry if I upset you,” Kyuhyun apologized, hoping it wasn’t too late. Kyuhyun highly doubted that the technology aboard the ship could save him if ZhouMi truly brought him to death’s door.  
  
“You’re not sorry. You are just afraid of what I might do to you…and you should be.”  
  
“If you are going to torture me…will it at least be pleasurable?” Kyuhyun asked, fighting the nausea that saying the words filled him with.  
  
“Pleasurable?” ZhouMi asked, clearly shocked by Kyuhyun’s words.  
  
Kyuhyun forced himself to lick his lips and make his leg move as if it were twitching in excitement. Kyuhyun knew sex. At a young age he had learned more about sex than he ever wanted to know. And he knew from the night before even in his drugged state that ZhouMi was not playing to his preferences. “I like sex…especially a little bondage. Sometimes pain…can be good, but I prefer to be the one in control.”  
  
“Do not delude yourself, I am the only one in control,” ZhouMi snapped back instantly, but Kyuhyun could tell he was intrigued.  
  
Kyuhyun reached under the blankets that covered his lower body and moved as if he was stroking himself. “I meant in bed…I’d rather give than receive if you get my drift.”  
  
Kyuhyun watched in satisfaction as he saw ZhouMi’s eyes instantly widen with more interest. “Well, aren’t you just full of surprises,” ZhouMi replied, moving closer to the bed. Shindong, from behind ZhouMi, laid down on the floor, closing his eyes.  
  
Kyuhyun knew he had to stay alive until the captain rescued him, and if he could lull ZhouMi into a sense of false security, then he would screw the bastard. He was not going to die on this ship and neither was Shindong if there was anyway of preventing it. He would be with Ryeowook again. “You have no idea,” Kyuhyun answered, smiling wickedly at ZhouMi.  
  
“Oh, do tell,” ZhouMi told him as he climbed on to the bed and crawled toward Kyuhyun.  
  
Kyuhyun tried to convince himself that he was a child again. Sex was nothing. It meant nothing. Sex was a way of surviving. Once a long time ago, Kyuhyun had learned that lesson in the hardest way possible; he did not require a refresher course. Give them what they want, so they don’t kill you. Make it about sex and not violence. Take the fear out of it, fear only breeds more violence. Fear takes away your control. Being in control was better than being a victim. Control. This was about being in control. ZhouMi had already raped him when he was high on drugs, and this time Kyuhyun would be in control. Control.  
  
When ZhouMi reached him on the bed, Kyuhyun pushed the warlord roughly ‘til he was laying on his back, looking up at Kyuhyun with great anticipation. With legs that were weak from the drugs the night before, he forced himself to straddle the warlord as if he suffered from no weaknesses at all. “Tell? I think not. I intend to show you,” Kyuhyun told him in a carefully controlled husky tone.  
  
A loud knocking on the door stopped Kyuhyun before he could rip ZhouMi’s robe open. Kyuhyun thanked God for the short reprieve as ZhouMi pushed Kyuhyun off of him and got up from the bed and stalked toward the door in a rage. The door flew open, and ZhouMi declared, “Somebody better be dead!”  
  
Seung-hyun walked into the room. “My Lord, I am very sorry for disturbing you, but there is an emergency on Giraffi.”  
  
“Emergency?” ZhouMi repeated, looking as if he wanted to shoot his highest ranking officer.  
  
“The Expectations,” Seung-hyun said, turning to look at Kyuhyun on the bed. “His father has liberated Giraffi from us and Jaejoong has turned our people on the planet, with the exception of the governor, into peace-loving fools. They have confiscated all our ships in the planets orbit and they destroyed your monument.”  
  
“Destroyed my monument!” ZhouMi yelled in shrill voice. “What do you mean they destroyed it?”  
  
“The governor reports that fire rained down from the sky and the monument disappeared in front of his very own eyes,” Seung-hyun explained.  
  
“My monument! I loved that monument!” ZhouMi growled, now prowling the room. “What else?”  
  
“More of our ships have gone missing. There are rumors that the Expectations crew has teamed up with the rebels, and…” Seung-hyun trailed off not wanting to relay the next part of the message.  
  
“And,” ZhouMi prompted in an ice cold voice.  
  
“The captain of the Expectations gave the governor a message for you,” Seung-hyun explained nervously, not daring to look directly at the warlord.  
  
“What message,” ZhouMi demanded.  
  
Seung-hyun stared at the floor and let the warning slip from his lips. “He’s coming for you.”  
  
“Fuck!” ZhouMi screamed as he stormed out the door in his robe almost knocking Seung-hyun down in the process. Seung-hyun quickly raised his head, and hurried after his lord, leaving Kyuhyun and Shindong alone.  
  
Relief flooded Kyuhyun, knowing that if he could just stay alive his rescue was a certainty. With eyes full of shame Kyuhyun turned to look at Shindong, who was still on the floor, only to find the other man smiling back at him. The eyes that had been dead earlier were now alive and full of hope. The dead, beaten act had been just that: an act for the warlord.  
  
Kyuhyun had underestimated Shindong. How many others had done so in the past, Kyuhyun wondered. The space trader turned ships consultant was a master at surviving. Shindong would understand the importance of staying alive at all cost. If nobody else understood the price that Kyuhyun was willing to pay, Shindong would.


	3. Chapter 3

Changmin sat up on the side of the bed and listened as Heechul and Jaejoong discussed him just outside of the room as if he weren’t even capable of thought. “I can’t think like that,” Changmin whispered to himself, pushing aside his resentment. He had to let go of his anger. He was not exactly stable, and if Heechul was going to allow him out of sickbay, then he would have to follow their instructions.  
  
“So, trooper, you ready to break free of this place?” Kangin asked as he entered Changmin’s sickbay room.  
  
“What are you doing here?”  
  
“I’m your designated babysitter,” Kangin answered as he leaned against the wall. “Yunho has entrusted me with his only son. I’m touched.”  
  
A huge smile broke out across Changmin’s face. “You mean Jaejoong won’t be?”  
  
Kangin shrugged and looked apologetic. “Not so lucky, cowboy. Your mom isn’t going anywhere. We are both going to be watching over you.”  
  
“That person is not my mother!” Changmin whined as he kicked the bed with the back of his legs in frustration.  
  
Kangin rolled his eyes at Changmin, who was doing his best imitation of a spoiled brat, and amended his statement, “Your father’s wife and I are going to be responsible for you.”  
  
“He is not my father’s wife.”  
  
“I always call him your father’s wife.”  
  
Changmin eyed Kangin skeptically, and asked, “Yunho approves of this?”  
  
Kangin chucked, remembering Yunho’s usual response, “Nah, not at all, but I do it anyway.”  
  
“You’re crazy.”  
  
“I don’t think you are one to be talking,” Kangin informed Changmin, and then asked curiously, “So what are you going to call Jaejoong?”  
  
“Jaejoong, Jae, Liar Jaejoong or Liar Jae,” Changmin informed Kangin in a deadpan voice that reminded Kangin of his old self.  
  
“Well, however you refer to him is okay by me. But we are both going to be responsible for you, so behave yourself.”  
  
“Behave myself? What do they think I’m going to do? Try to take over the ship?”  
  
“Don’t act like you couldn’t manage it,” Kangin told him with a grin.  
  
Changmin, whose emotions that were still far from under his control, looked suddenly tearful, and exclaimed, “Maybe before…well, definitely before, but now my brain is full of stupid Joong crap. I doubt my IQ is even average now.”  
  
“That’s gotta suck.”  
  
“It does. They are not an evolved race; they are just an old race…an old race of hermaphrodites,” Changmin explained, looking totally disgusted suddenly.  
  
Kangin grin spread wider, his interest piqued. “Hermaphrodites…so do you have - ”  
  
“NO!” Changmin screamed, interrupting Kangin, “I do not. I took after Yunho.”  
  
Kangin tried to stop grinning at the beautiful, blonde young man with the perfect, fair complexion and extraordinary blue eyes. “You sure don’t look like it anymore.”  
  
“Well, I did,” Changmin replied, puffing up like a toad.  
  
Jaejoong walked into the room, giving Changmin a very disapproving look for screaming earlier. “Changmin, you do know we are in sickbay, correct? Do you wish to wake everybody up?”  
  
“Who else is in sickbay?” Changmin asked, suddenly worried. “You told me Junsu, and Sungmin were fine! Did Junsu and Sungmin die? Did I kill them? Junsu used to annoy me like crazy, but I never wanted him dead. Am I a murderer?”  
  
“No, you didn’t kill anybody!” Jaejoong replied quickly before Changmin totally lost it.  
  
“Sulli is sleeping, kid. Just chill,” Kangin said, trying to soothe the science officer.  
  
Changmin’s eyes lit up with sudden awareness, and he was up and out of bed instantly. He was out of the room before Kangin or Jaejoong could even register what was happening.  
  
Changmin headed instinctively for Sulli’s sickbay room. Kangin and Jaejoong, who were both startled by his actions, rushed after him. Jaejoong cursed the necklace around Changmin’s neck that kept him from knowing what was going on in his disturbed son’s mind.  
  
Changmin entered Sulli’s room and went immediately to the sleeping girl. He stared at her for only a second before grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking her ‘til she awakened from her sleep.  
  
“Changmin!” Jaejoong yelled, shocked at his son’s behavior as he entered the room. “What are you doing? Let her go.”  
  
Changmin ignored Jaejoong and smiled in relief as Sulli’s eyes opened. He instantly let go of her once she had awakened, and sat down on the bed beside her.  
  
Sulli pulled herself up and smiled back at him in awe. Her bruises were all gone, and she looked refreshed as she took in the sight of Changmin. “Changmin, you look like an angel.”  
  
“I’m not, though…although I came close to dying, but I lived…you saved me.”  
  
Sulli took Changmin’s hand and squeezed it. “No, we saved each other. If you had not been taken to Belara, I would still be there.”  
  
“That seems logical, but I am not sure…my logic isn’t working,” Changmin explained to her. Jaejoong, who had stopped his approach as soon as the girl awakened, stood back at the doorway, watching. He was mystified by Changmin’s odd behavior. Jaejoong watched as Changmin was at total ease with the young woman, and suddenly calmer than he had been in days.  
  
“Not working?” Sulli asked, confused.  
  
“No, I found out who my other parent was…” Changmin paused to turn and glare back at Jaejoong. “And his people are totally illogical! I’m now an emotional wreck; plus, I’m stupid.”  
  
“You are not stupid,” Jaejoong told his son in a long-suffering voice. They had repeatedly had this discussion since Changmin was returned to the ship. While Yunho was busy making plans to rescue Kyuhyun and Shindong, Jaejoong had been stuck dealing with a childish Changmin, who suddenly thought he was stupid.  
  
Changmin’s calm started dissipating as he insisted, “I’m mentally handicapped!”  
  
“You are not. You have had a traumatic experience, and you just need to give yourself time to adapt to your new abilities,” Jaejoong replied patiently.  
  
“Like you would ever admit that Joongs are illogical and not capable of advanced levels of thinking,” Changmin spit back at his father.  
  
“Changmin, you might not be stupid…but you are driving me crazy,” Jaejoong snapped back at his son.  
  
Sulli, who had been listening to their exchange, laughed and told Changmin, “But Changmin, don’t be upset. You are so pretty now.”  
  
“I don’t want to be pretty!” Changmin exclaimed, turning back to face a smiling Sulli. “I want to be smart!”  
  
“Well, I am glad you are pretty,” Sulli said, squeezing his hand tighter. “You can be pretty and smart. I’m sure you will find your logic again.”  
  
“I hope,” Changmin told her, his expression immediately softening.  
  
With Sulli’s other hand that was not holding on to Changmin, she reached up and touched her face. “I’m smiling,” she said amazed.  
  
“Yes, you are,” Changmin told her bluntly, not understanding her amazement. “I smile one minute, and I cry the next. It’s very unsettling. I wish I could stick to one emotion for longer than the span of a few seconds.”  
  
Sulli laughed at Changmin and explained, “I haven’t smiled in so long…I thought I had forgotten how.”  
  
“You can’t forget how to smile…I don’t think. Although if there was certain neurological damage to the motor and cingulate cortex…” Changmin paused as he noticed Sulli’s smile growing bigger. “What?”  
  
“I think your logic is coming back?”  
  
Changmin beamed at her. “I really hope so; I really hope my logic and my intelligence returns.”  
  
“It will come back.”  
  
“It would be greatly appreciated.”  
  
Sulli nodded her head, and asked, “Changmin is it true…that I’m the only female on this ship?”  
  
“Technically yes, although…SooYoung is alive!” Changmin screamed as he jumped up from the bed, waving his arms excitedly as he suddenly remembered an important fact. “She is alive, Sulli! Your cousin is alive!”  
  
“She is?!” Sulli yelled back. just as excited at the abrupt news that her cousin was alive. “Where is she?”  
  
“I do not know where she is right now, but in my dream…in my memory, it’s SooYoung who takes me back in time.”  
  
“Changmin,” Jaejoong warned, stepping into the room.  
  
Changmin ignored Jaejoong and explained to Sulli, “I was sent back in time as an infant, and it was SooYoung that took me through the Guardian of Time! I can’t wait to see a Guardian of Time. They are great portals into…that isn’t important now, but it was SooYoung that Jaejoong handed me over to. I can see it all perfectly, so she has to be alive.”  
  
“Changmin, stop,” Jaejoong ordered as he grabbed Changmin’s arm. “Don’t…the future can’t be known.”  
  
Changmin pulled free of Jaejoong and reminded him, “But I am from the future, and I do know. Your future is my past.”  
  
“Just don’t…they can’t know,” Jaejoong pleaded.  
  
Changmin’s eyes widened in fear, as he realized the implications of Jaejoong’s warnings, and knew what would follow. “You will make them all forget…won’t’ you? Don’t make Sulli forget. It isn’t bad to hope. I don’t want her to stop hoping again. Hope can be good…even if totally illogical.”  
  
Jaejoong inhaled a deep breath; something about Changmin unsettled him greatly, and warning bells were going off in his head. “Changmin…knowing isn’t always for the best. Sometimes not knowing and the urgency it creates shouldn’t be tampered with.”  
  
Changmin, who was much taller than Jaejoong, looked down at him unflinching. “No, you can’t make anybody forget.”  
  
“Changmin, just calm down,” Heechul ordered as he entered the room after hearing the ruckus. “Jaejoong can’t make you forget anything as long as you wear that necklace,” Heechul reminded Changmin.  
  
Changmin reached up suddenly and wrapped a comforting hand around the necklace and smiled triumphantly. “No, he can’t. I won’t forget! I won’t let anybody else forget either! I will make sure everybody knows.”  
  
“Forget?” Sulli asked nervously from the bed. “Make us forget? But knowing SooYoung is alive is good…why would we want to forget that?”  
  
Changmin glared at Jaejoong. “Because he likes secrets, but he doesn’t get to keep this one,” Changmin hissed as he hurried from the room. “I have got to tell Yunho!”  
  
“Changmin,” Jaejoong growled, and hurried after his son. Kangin, who had been waiting out of sight observing everything, followed after them.  
  
Sulli remained in bed and just stared at Heechul, at a complete lost. Heechul smiled at her in sympathy and sat down on the edge of her bed and explained, “Little Miss Sulli, let me explain the story of Captain Jung Yunho and how he one day saved a beautiful being called a Joong, changing his life forever.”  
  
****************  
  
Changmin stormed down the corridor on his way to the lift. He wasn’t letting Jaejoong stop him from telling Yunho that SooYoung was alive. Jaejoong would not manipulate him anymore.  
  
Changmin reached the lift, and the doors opened automatically. Before entering the lift he turned to smile triumphantly back at Jaejoong. Jaejoong had no power over him as long as he wore the necklace, and Changmin would not allow him to have power over others either. Changmin quickly turned to get on the lift and slammed face first into the lift doors as they closed shut, preventing him entry. The force of the collision sent him tumbling backwards onto the floor. He stared up at the doors in dismay as he reached up to hold his now bleeding nose.  
  
“Can you calm down for five seconds,” Jaejoong asked completely exasperated as he approached the younger man on the floor.  
  
Changmin, whose dignity was hurt far greater than his nose asked, “Why are the doors malfunctioning?”  
  
“Because Ensign Henry in engineering was mentally commanded by me to make them malfunction,” Jaejoong told Changmin as he knelt down beside his son, and inspected his face. “I can make everybody on this ship with the exception of you…do exactly what I want.”  
  
“Ha…wh…”  
  
“Listen to me, if you really want the whole ship to know that this woman is alive, then that is on you. Tell them, but you can not go to the bridge in this state and disturb Yunho. He has enough to focus on right now. He’s orchestrating a rescue mission with the assistance of an unreliable rebellion. He has to find Commander Cho and Shindong….you know he does. After what Commander Cho sacrificed for you…Yunho won’t ever be able to live with himself if he doesn’t save him,” Jaejoong explained to Changmin. “I can’t be there with him, but I can keep you from adding unnecessary stress to his already huge burden.”  
  
“I don’t want to be a burden…I just wanted him to know,” Changmin explained, pinching his bleeding nose. “It’s good news. She is a good officer. If we get her back, it would help the ship. Even if she weren’t a good officer…he would want her back. He doesn’t want any of them to be lost.”  
  
Jaejoong tapped his insignia and called for Yunho, “Yunho.”  
  
“Yes,” Yunho immediately replied.  
  
“Changmin says the woman who brought him back in time through the Guardian of Time when he was a baby was a person called SooYoung,” Jaejoong informed his bondmate verbally, so Changmin could hear him.  
  
“Lieutenant Choi?” Yunho replied, surprised.  
  
“Yes, it was her,” Changmin added. “She is the one who brought me to Earth.”  
  
There was a pause and Yunho asked, “Changmin, what happened to your voice?”  
  
“I have a bloody nose,” Changmin explained, still pinching his nose.  
  
“And why do you have a bloody nose?” Yunho asked suspiciously. Kangin, who had heard and seen everything, started laughing as he leaned up against the corridor wall.  
  
“Jaejoong made the doors shut-”  
  
“It’s nothing, I’m about to take care of it,” Jaejoong interrupted Changmin quickly and tapped his insignia ending the conversation.  
  
“Take care of it?” Changmin repeated his eyes widening as he leaned away from Jaejoong as the other man reached out and grabbed his hand.  
  
Jaejoong, who had a firm grasp on Changmin, ordered, “Be still!”  
  
“What are you doing to me,” Changmin whimpered as he felt a strange sensation spreading throughout his body.  
  
Jaejoong let go of Changmin’s hand and stood up. “I was healing you, and you’re welcome by the way.”  
  
“Wow,” Changmin said full of amazement as he reached up and touched his nose that now didn’t hurt at all and had stopped bleeding.  
  
Jaejoong smirked at his amazed son and told him, “You are going to have to learn how to do that on your own, without the whole dying thing.”  
  
“Yeah,” Changmin agreed. “I don’t even remember how I did it before.”  
  
“You were in a healing sleep; your Joong instincts took over. You didn’t have to think,” Jaejoong explained as he reached out a hand for his son who was still sitting on the floor.  
  
Changmin reached up took Jaejoong’s hand without hesitation and allowed his other parent to pull him up. “So, even if I have the necklace on, you can heal me?”  
  
Jaejoong nodded his head and started walking down the hall toward his and Yunho’s quarters. “Yes, the necklace will allow healing.”  
  
“How do I learn to heal myself?” Changmin asked, following after Jaejoong.  
  
“You first have to learn control. The emotions you hate so much right now will give you strength, once you learn to control them. It’s actually harder to consciously heal yourself than it is to heal others,” Jaejoong informed him.  
  
“Who can I heal?” Changmin asked as he tagged along after Jaejoong.  
  
Kangin followed behind the two, smiling, not daring to say a word. He wished Yunho was in his place, to view their bonding as Changmin followed after Jaejoong like an eager puppy.  
  
“Well, if you ever take a mate, you would be able to heal them, and if you ever have children, you would be able to heal them. Your mate and children will be the easiest to heal. A Joong can also heal close blood relatives to an extent.”  
  
“Can I heal Yunho…or you?”  
  
Jaejoong slowed slightly as he pondered Changmin’s question. “You are a hybrid…the first of your kind that I know of, but most Joong children can heal their parents to an extent…or strengthen their parents bond enough to increase their healing energy.”  
  
“You said most Joong children…are not all Joongs the same?”  
  
“No,” Jaejoong replied as he continued toward his quarters. “I’m actually a very powerful Joong…this is why Hyun Joong fears me.”  
  
“The royal house of Joong,” Changmin said suddenly, “In Yunho’s report, he said the Guardian referred to you as Jaejoong of the Royal House of Joong.”  
  
Jaejoong, who had reached his quarters, turned to look at Changmin. “Yes, I’m a prince on Joong. I come from a long line of powerful Joong. I guess that makes you a prince also.”  
  
“Will that make the Guardian of Time listen to me?” Changmin asked, not caring about his royal status, but instantly intrigued by the thought of the Guardian of Time and all the secrets it could reveal.  
  
“No,” Jaejoong replied instantly. “The Guardian does not care about titles.”  
  
Changmin frowned. “But-”  
  
“But nothing,” Jaejoong said, stepping behind Changmin and pushing him through the doors of the quarters he shared with Yunho. “You need to go wash your face.”  
  
“Yes, I know, but I really want to learn more about the Guardian of Time,” Changmin told Jaejoong.  
  
Kangin, who decided to wait outside in the hall outside their quarters, laughed as he heard Jaejoong tell his son, “Changmin, you are not going anywhere near a Guardian of Time! Do you hear me?”  
  
  
*****************  
  
He awoke in a panic, screaming for his mother, covered in a cold, clammy sweat with his heart racing. He laid in bed, struggling to control his labored breathing, as visions of aliens he didn’t recognize lingered in his mind as they took turns torturing him…raping him…tearing him apart. They whispered in mocking tones calling him a baby…calling him Baby Starfleet over and over again.  
  
In the dream, he desperately wanted his mother, and he screamed for her ‘til his throat bled. This part of the dream he found very strange, since he had no memory of his mother. He had been taken from her at a very young age to learn the ways of his father’s empire…but in the dream, he cried for her knowing…knowing if she would just come for him, he would be saved.  
  
The body beside him twitched, and the soft whisper of, “Momma” could be heard escaping its dry, bloody lips. ZhouMi flung himself out of bed fearfully….as he realized suddenly it wasn’t his dream at all.  
  
ZhouMi backed away from the bed, and the beaten and battered body that lay crumpled upon it. ZhouMi went to the bar and poured himself, with very shaky hands, the strongest drink he had. ZhouMi had never known fear…he had inflicted a great amount of fear on others, but he had never known it. He surely had never truly understood it, or felt any empathy for those who invoked his cruelty. To be feared was to be powerful, were the words his father had branded into him since before he could even walk.  
  
He guzzled down the first drink and then poured another. The drinks did him no good; his skin still burned as if he were the child who had been at the mercy of the strange aliens…strange aliens who had no mercy.  
  
The rational part of his mind tried to be encouraged that the bonding must be happening for him to share such dreams with the half Joong, but were they dreams? ZhouMi could not imagine anybody dreaming such things…it had to be memories. They were memories that his half Joong prize had experienced in his childhood, and now that the time for bonding was upon them, they were sharing memories. ZhouMi found that for some reason, he took no joy in that fact the torture he had inflicted on the body in the bed had been successful, and the Joong’s ability to bond was emerging.  
  
ZhouMi poured another drink and sipped it slowly. He did not want to share such memories…and what about the night before? He had tortured the half Joong repeatedly…he had hoped to enjoy the Joong sexually with its full cooperation, but his anger at its parents’ attacks on his empire had unleashed his most savage nature. He had called for medical twice to revive the half Joong, when the Joong healing abilities did not kick in.  
  
ZhouMi put down the drink and rubbed his face as the unfamiliar feeling of guilt flooded him, as the body in the bed whimpered, still caught in those painful memories. Was the bonding occurring? Would he be changed forever? Would he live a life full of regret for the things he had done? ZhouMi walked to the mirror in his room to stare at himself…to see if he could still look himself in the eye. He walked to the mirror, knowing he would not find that old familiar pleasure he had always felt upon looking at his handsome appearance. No, he wouldn’t feel any pleasure, but still, he would make himself look himself in the eye. A powerful man must be able to look himself in the eye.  
  
He approached the mirror, and the sight that greeted him was even more disturbing than he imagined. The necklace that had not left his neck since his initial dealings with Hyun  
Joong glowed. With each painful whimper from the bed, the necklace glowed brighter, filling him with empathy for the tortured soul on the bed. Without thinking, ZhouMi removed the necklace from his neck and threw it across the room. The bonding was not occurring; the necklace had betrayed him.  
  
  
****************************  
  
Yunho nodded politely to the security guard outside his quarters and entered, completely exhausted, looking forward to at least three hours of sleep, before he had to be up again, greeting another rebel faction and ridding another world of the Warlord ZhouMi’s tyranny. It had only been a couple days, but he knew the warlord had to feel the pinch of the Expectations actions. They had confiscated over thirty ships and countless goods and given them to the Rebellion.  
  
The Rebellion, though… Yunho could not help but worry about them. They did not have a strong leader, and only a few of them he suspected would have made it past the first round of the Star Fleet entrance exams. They were disorganized at best. Even men with great hearts and purpose needed a true leader. The Rebellion had too many leaders…which meant it had none.  
  
Yunho pushed those thoughts out of his head. Right now, he just wanted to curl up with Jaejoong and sleep. His mate had been strangely distant with him, only showing up when his telepathic abilities were required. Yunho knew in some odd twist of events, the Joong was actually upset with Yunho….for being upset with him. His Joong mate just left him so puzzled at times.  
  
Yunho come to abrupt stop when he noticed it was Jaejoong sleeping on the couch and not Changmin. Yunho knew that Changmin was staying in their quarters tonight, due to the fact that his son could not be trusted to be left alone.  
  
The guard standing outside the quarters was there to make sure Changmin did not slip pass Jaejoong. Jaejoong’s telepathic abilities were worthless against Changmin as long as he wore the necklace, but if Changmin snuck out the guard would know…and Jaejoong would be alerted instantly. Changmin was still too raw from his experiences the past couple of days to be allowed to roam freely around the ship. Yunho had expected to find Changmin on the couch sleeping…not Jaejoong.  
  
Yunho had not even had the luxury of sleep the night before, but he had hoped to sleep a little tonight. The memory of the day before and Jaejoong’s strange order for Yunho not to touch him returned in full force. Yunho suddenly realized that his usually clingy mate had avoided almost all contact with him since issuing that order.  
  
He was suddenly extremely irritated, and almost headed straight for the bedroom to sleep, when he made himself stop. Yunho thought Jaejoong was being completely irrational…because if anybody ought to be holding a grudge, it should be him. Yunho forced himself to sit down on the floor and lean against the couch that Jaejoong slept on. Yunho reminded himself Jaejoong was not a human.  _“Maybe being an irrational pain in the ass was a Joong thing,”_ Yunho thought really loudly, and directed at Jaejoong.  
  
 _“Yunho, mentally screaming at me is not cool.”_  
  
 _“Well, it is better than verbally screaming at you, and waking Changmin up.”_  
  
 _“Agreed, because I swear if you wake him up…I will hurt you, and I’ll wait at least a good five minutes before I heal you.”_  
  
Yunho couldn’t keep from smiling.  _“So the ten thousand questions continued.”_  
  
“Argh,” Jaejoong moaned, turning onto his side to face Yunho.  _“You just have no idea.”_  
  
 _“Oh, believe me I do.”  
  
“No, you don’t.”  
  
“Kangin said you were bonding. He said it was sweet.”  
  
“What does he know? He hid outside the room ‘til his relief came.”_  
  
Yunho chuckled. _“Well, nobody ever said he was an idiot.”  
  
“Go to sleep, Yunho.”  
  
“Do you still want me to avoid touching you?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“Why?  
  
“Because.”  
  
“Because why?”_  
  
 _“You are sounding a lot like Changmin.”  
  
“It runs in the family.”  
  
“Not funny.”  
  
“Why are we not touching?”  
  
“Yunho, just go to sleep.”  
  
“I sleep better when I’m with you.”  
  
“You are with me.”  
  
“You know what I mean.”  
  
“Well, we are not having sex for weeks, so get that idea out of your head.”_  
  
“Weeks!” Yunho could not keep from saying out loud. “You lied to me about Changmin the entire time I’ve known you, and somehow you are the victim! You are really starting to piss me off!”  
  
 _“Keep your voice down!”_  
  
Yunho stood up, he was extremely angry, but forced himself to reply telepathically,  _“You know what? Never mind, because I didn’t even want to have sex with you! Not with Changmin in our quarters! I just wanted to hold you, but you know what? Screw that.”_  
  
Jaejoong quickly sat up on the side of the couch, but Yunho was already out of the living area, and in their bedroom with the sleeping Changmin. Jaejoong listened telepathically as Yunho told Changmin to scoot over.  
  
 _“Get out of my mind,”_  Yunho ordered mentally.  
  
Jaejoong just sighed and did as he was told. He listened with his ears as Yunho settled into sleep. Jaejoong knew he should say something to calm Yunho down, but he didn’t feel like filling Yunho’s head with more lies. He knew Yunho was so exhausted that not even his anger at his mate would be able to keep him awake.  
  
Jaejoong stood up and walked to the entryway to the bedroom and watched Yunho and Changmin sleeping for over an hour, before leaving unnoticed.  
  
  
*******************  
  
Ryeowook sat in the middle of the bed he once shared with Kyuhyun, clutching an old, often read book tightly against his chest. His mind took him to miserable, dark places, and his heart wept for the only one he had ever loved. Was Kyuhyun still alive? Was he suffering? He would have given anything to trade places with Kyuhyun; Kyuhyun had suffered enough for one life…and Ryeowook winced, knowing he had not always made it easy for the man he loved. If he could only go back in time and correct all his mistakes…give them back the time he had foolishly wasted.  
  
“Enter,” Ryeowook spoke softly, not of his own accord, as the doors to his quarters opened.  
  
Jaejoong entered the darkly lit quarters, after telepathically compelling Ryeowook to open the doors for him. He walked into the bedroom, not ordering the lights on, as his eyes slowly adapted to the room.  
  
“Do you think he’s still alive?” Ryeowook asked, not questioning Jaejoong’s ability to bypass his wishes to be left alone so easily.  
  
Jaejoong sat down on the edge of the bed. “It depends. If he has been able to fool ZhouMi into believing he is Changmin…then he is still alive.”  
  
“But…if they knew he wasn’t?”  
  
“Then he is dead.”  
  
Ryeowook squeezed his eyes shut, even though the room was dark, and fought the urge to scream. “ZhouMi’s men captured Changmin, Kyuhyun, and Shindong…they would have known who Changmin was….so, Kyuhyun is-”  
  
“No, not necessarily,” Jaejoong said, interrupting. “Changmin was Hyun Joong’s leverage. We know that Hyun Joong was on the planet with them, that he forced Kyuhyun to call the Expectations. Hyun Joong would have kept Changmin’s existence a tightly guarded secret. He would not have let anybody remember Changmin or his ability to resist his mind control. If he was smart, he erased all traces of the encounter with Changmin, Kyuhyun, and Shindong on Trysor…and he is smart - a smart, slippery snake.”  
  
Ryeowook tilted his head to the side trying to make Jaejoong out in the darkness, as he took in his words. “I don’t know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. If Hyun Joong did erase all memories of Kyuhyun, Changmin, and Shindong from the minds of ZhouMi’s people…Kyuhyun is now at the mercy of ZhouMi the Warlord.”  
  
Jaejoong sneered and said hatefully, “ZhouMi has no mercy.”  
  
“Thanks, that’s just what I needed to hear,” Ryeowook replied, trying his best to keep his fragile emotions under control.  
  
“I have been recently chastised for lying, so forgive me for my brutal honesty.”  
  
“Lights,” Ryeowook ordered, and the ships computer immediately turned the lights on in the room.  
  
Jaejoong turned to look at the very distraught-looking Ryeowook, who was studying him closely. “You don’t have to turn them on…if you would rather not.”  
  
“You look stronger,” Ryeowook pointed out, ignoring Jaejoong reply as he took in this calmer, more collected Jaejoong.  
  
“My mental breakdown has been put on hold for the time being.”  
  
“For the time being?” Ryeowook repeated, puzzled. “Yunho took the necklace off…shouldn’t you be happy?”  
  
“I’m wonderfully happy,” Jaejoong said sarcastically, forcing a smile to appear on his face.  
  
“I’m afraid I’m not going to believe that without mind tampering…why aren’t you happy? Is Yunho angry at you still?”  
  
“Yes, since tampering with Yunho’s mind is so deeply frowned upon, he continues to be angry at me,” Jaejoong snorted and told Ryeowook.  
  
“You do realize…it’s perfectly normal for him to be angry with you.”  
  
“I really don’t care. He can be mad at me all he wants.”  
  
Ryeowook stared at Jaejoong, truly confused. This Jaejoong didn’t even seem like the madly in love Jaejoong that he had grown accustomed to. “Did the necklace do something to you? Do you not love Yunho anymore? Did the necklace break your bond?”  
  
“What?” Jaejoong asked, bewildered at the doctor’s question. “Of course I love him more than anything. As long as we are alive, our bond is intact. Just because I’m not some sappy, crying mess…you think I don’t love him? I’ve recently been told that you can be in love with somebody and still be angry at them.”  
  
“Well…you just seem kinda cold towards him. The only other time I’ve seen you like this was when you thought you were shifting…” Ryeowook paused and his eyes widened. “Are you shifting?”  
  
Jaejoong sighed loudly and folded his arms and telepathically ridded Ryeowook’s mind of such thoughts, and he reset Ryeowook’s mind back to the point when he had turned on the lights.  
  
Ryeowook blinked, slightly unsettled, but unaware anything had happened. Ryeowook only paused for as second and asked Jaejoong. “You don’t mind the lights being on, do you?”  
  
“No, I prefer the lights to be on,” Jaejoong told Ryeowook, as if the subject of shifting had never come up. “In my Joong form, my eyes adapted to the darkness, allowing me to see clearly. Changmin finds his Joong eyes intriguing. We spent most of the evening sitting in the dark, letting his eyes adapt to it, while he questioned me about all things under the sun.”  
  
Ryeowook did not smile, but a flicker of amusement passed through him. “That sounds more like the Changmin we all know and love.”  
  
“Yes, but sadly, human eyes do not adapt to the darkness,” Jaejoong pointed out.  
  
“They adapt, but not like Joong eyes. We never see clearly in the dark.”  
  
“Maybe that’s a good thing; perhaps one should not adapt to the darkness.”  
  
Ryeowook frowned at Jaejoong, realizing his double meaning. “You take great pride in the fact that you never gave in to ZhouMi, don’t you?”  
  
“Yes,” Jaejoong said, nodding his head. “Others would have given in.”  
  
“Like Changmin?”  
  
“No,” Jaejoong laughed bitterly. “Kyuhyun did this all to save Changmin, but if Changmin had arrived on ZhouMi’s ship, the power of his unleashed mind would have killed all of the crew, with the exception of ZhouMi…who would have been wearing one of those fucking necklaces.”  
  
Ryeowook put down his book and glared at Jaejoong. “So, you think Kyuhyun’s sacrifice was in vain?”  
  
“No,” Jaejoong quickly replied, feeling Ryeowook’s rage. “ZhouMi is incapable of flying his ship alone, and Changmin would not have been able to think clearly enough to help him…they would have died. Kyuhyun did save Changmin.”  
  
Ryeowook’s anger calmed, but now tears ran down his face. “Sorry…it’s just that…the thought that it was all in vain. I can’t imagine that…that’s too terrible to contemplate.”  
  
Jaejoong looked away from Ryeowook as the other man’s pain flooded him. “If he is dead…I can make it bearable for you.”  
  
“What?”  
  
Jaejoong still refused to look at Ryeowook as he clarified, “I can reinforce your acceptance and I can diminish the grief…you don’t always have to feel like this.”  
  
Ryeowook reached across the bed grabbing Jaejoong’s arm, even startling the Joong and said desperately, “Never! Do you hear me, Jaejoong? Never! Don’t ever diminish my grief! He lost me once, and I judged his way of coping…I punished him. I robbed us of so much time. I will own my sadness….if he is gone. If he is gone…he deserves to be mourned. If I let you….if I forgot him, it would be worse…it would be worse than his sleeping with Sungmin. It would be a million times worse. Promise me! You will never make me forget…or make his loss easier for me to handle.”  
  
Jaejoong pulled free of Ryeowook’s grasp and stood up. “Don’t hold me to promises - promises that you will only beg me to break.”  
  
“No, I won’t ask you break this promise,” Ryeowook said firmly, shaking his head.  
  
Jaejoong stared down at Ryeowook, torn between what he should say and what he knew to be true. “I won’t do it without your permission. You will have to ask me.”  
  
“I won’t ask,” Ryeowook insisted, picking the old book back up, and holding it tightly to his chest.  
  
“We will see,” Jaejoong told him, doubting the resolve of the broken-hearted man as he left the room.


	4. Chapter 4

“Is there some reason you have Ensign Kim Junsu escorting the newly arrived bunch of rebels, or are you just trying to piss me off?” Commander Yoochun demanded as he stormed into the Captain’s Ready Room.

Yunho, who had been reading intently, looked up from his desk to stare at the red-faced commander. “I beg your pardon?”

Yoochun walked pass the conference table to Yunho’s desk and slammed his hands down on the desk, and explained angrily, “The new bunch of rebels are women….why is Junsu escorting them?”

“Sit,” Yunho ordered, with an edge in his voice that had Yoochun sitting immediately. “Let me get this straight, Commander. You are questioning something as minimal as this, while we are orchestrating a complicated rescue mission?”

Yoochun leaned back in his seat, his anger quickly dissipating, and swallowed guiltily before answering, “Yes, and I’m sorry. I was momentarily stupid.”

“Yes, you were,” Yunho coldly told him. “Dare I ask what brought on this outburst?”

“I have no idea,” Commander Yoochun lied. “You just tell me what you need me to do for you, and it is already done. I know how much stress you must be under, and I’m here to help.”

Yunho rolled his eyes at Commander Yoochun, and refused to be distracted. “Are you jealous that you are not with the women? Or are you jealous that Junsu is with them?”

“It’s been a long time since I have been with a woman…well, not counting my recent converted self, but I have never been a big fan of masturbation, not that I don’t enjoy it. I welcome all orgasms and the more-”

“Yoochun,” Yunho said a in a voice full of warning.

“I saw Junsu with all those rebel women, and I was just filled with jealousy. What if one of them takes a shine to him…and his precious virginity? I have dibs on his virginity, dammit! It shouldn’t be lost to some ugly rebel women that make Nausicaans look sexy,” Yoochun confessed.

Yunho just shook his head and waited a moment before responding, “Junsu is his own person. He can be with whoever he wants to be with, and we both know he doesn’t want to be with you. You have to accept this, Yoochun.”

Yoochun glanced away from Yunho, unable to look him in the eye. “There is a greater concern.”

“And what’s that?”

“All these women on a ship full of sexually deprived men…I just don’t think it’s very smart to have them wandering about,” Yoochun explained, forcing himself to face Yunho with a smile.

Yunho’s eyes narrowed and he said very carefully, “There is only one predator on this ship, and he’s on his best behavior. The women are not in any danger, and you know that.”

Yoochun let out a deep breath and agreed, “I do know that.”

“I don’t like this obsession you have with Junsu. I’ve never liked it. It can’t be good for you,” Yunho told his old friend, concerned.

“No, but I don’t seem to be able to help myself.”

Yunho studied Yoochun closely, and added, “We are in the middle of a rescue mission…but it’s like you forgot all that.”

“I am a little territorial,” Yoochun said with a sly grin. “I am better now, though,” Yoochun said clapping his hands together. “So how are we going to make ZhouMi miserable today?”

“When was the last time you had a full mental examination?” Yunho asked, refusing to be manipulated. “Have you had one since you were switched into the body of a woman? The switch could have undone-”

“Stop. I understand your concerns, and I had Dr. Cho do a full mental examination on me after I switched back into my male body; we did a few tweaks, but everything is intact.”

“You had to have tweaks, and nobody told me!” Yunho said, alarmed now.

Yoochun held up his hands to calm the captain. “Just minor tweaks; it wasn’t like I was planning a murderous rampage.”

Yunho did not even try to hide the worry on his face. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Yoochun confirmed, trying his best to sound reassuring. “If you don’t believe me, ask Dr. Cho, or better yet, ask your beloved.”

“Jaejoong has never liked you.”

“Well, he can sense evil,” Yoochun tried to joke, but avoided Yunho’s gaze.

“You are not evil!” Yunho said resolutely as he stood up and reached across the desk and grabbed Yoochun by the shoulder. “Look at me,” Yunho demanded, “You were born with a sickness. You have been cured. You are not evil. Repeat it now.”

Yoochun forced himself to look up at Yunho, and said softly. “I’m not evil.”

“Now, say it and believe it.”

“I’m not evil,” Yoochun said more confidently, finding strength in the eyes of his old friend, whose gaze stared back at him unflinchingly.

“Now, that we have settled that, I must admit that I was surprised that you haven’t found time to bitch at me for getting kidnapped and keeping you away from your precious engines,” Yunho told him as he sat back down.

“Although I always hate it when you inconvenience me by leaving me in command of the ship, at least this time you didn’t have Ensign SungGyu wasting away in astrophysics instead of engineering, like you did when I was stuck as a woman,” Yoochun explained. “The engineering department is as perfect as always.”

Yunho leaned back in his chair, studying his old friend. “I thought Ensign Henry was your engineering genius.”

“Oh, he is. Henry…the kid is a master at engineering already,” Yoochun answered, beaming in pride when he spoke of his apprentice. “Henry has a natural ability for engineering that leaves me in awe, but he cannot command others. He’s too damn nice.”

“Isn’t there somebody else in-”

“No, you can’t have SungGyu!”

“Yoochun,” Yunho said, trying to fight his amusement. “His command ability scores rank off the-”

“I don’t care!” Yoochun interrupted, openly pouting. “He can use his command ability to keep my engineering department running perfectly.”

“I have moved that boy all over this ship, and he has excelled in every department. I have got to start promoting…some men are made to command others, and some are not. I have to start moving people up who have that skill, and I have to foster it,” Yunho explained calmly.

Yoochun heard something in Yunho’s voice he didn’t like, and asked gently, “In case we don’t get Kyuhyun back?”

Yunho stared down at his desk, and answered honestly, “I’m going to do everything I can to get him back, but we don’t even know if he’s still alive.”

“He is.”

“You don’t know that…we all are living on borrowed time,” Yunho explained, thinking of his own fate. In the future he would be dying, and before he died he would have Jaejoong send Changmin back in time to Earth. Yunho reminded himself he still had time. Changmin was two years old when he arrived on Earth. They still had time.

“Is there something…you want to tell me?” Yoochun asked, worried for his forlorn friend.

Yunho looked up at his friend…his friend that had always depended on him. Instead of discussing his potential tragic future, he brought up another topic that was bothering him. “When I inherited this command, I got access to all the sealed records on the crew. Before you came in, I was reading Kyuhyun’s file.”

“Kyuhyun had a sealed record? What did it say? That he was the spoiled son of admirals, who had a sex addiction, before Dr. Cho got a firm hold on his balls? We already knew that.”

Yunho paled and shook his head. “I wish it said that. God, I wish that was all it said.”

“What did he do?”

“You mean what was done to him,” Yunho answered, looking ill.

Yoochun stared at Yunho, at a loss, and asked in a confused voice, “He is the son of two of the most powerful admirals in the fleet…what could have happened to him?”

“You don’t want to know. I shouldn’t have mentioned it. I will just say this: even admirals have rules to follow, and a very young Kyuhyun was the collateral damage of them following those rules.”

“You are right, I don’t want to know; I already have too little respect for rules,” Yoochun replied, his sharp mind already surmising the cause of Yunho’s distress.

“Do the rules apply here?”

“You are the rule enforcer here…..why are you of all people asking me this?” Yoochun asked, shocked.

“I know the noninterference clause with primitive cultures doesn’t apply since the Warlords already hindered the natural development of the more primitive worlds by subjecting them to their technology, but I have - ” Yunho’s insignia chirped, interrupting him. Yunho tapped it, and answered, “Captain here.”

“Captain, I need you to come to sickbay,” Ryeowook’s worried voice told him.

Yunho got up from his chair and replied, “I’m on my way.”

“I’m coming with you,” Yoochun told him as he followed after Yunho.

*****************

Captain Yunho entered sickbay with Commander Yoochun at his side, to find Dr. Cho sitting on the side of a sickbay exam bed, rubbing his face with the back of his hands, looking lost, brokenhearted, and exhausted.

“Doctor,” Yunho said tentatively as he approached the younger man.

Ryeowook dropped his hands and looked at the captain with red eyes that had not known sleep in days, and pointed toward the room that housed the ambassador’s daughter.

Yunho inhaled a deep breath and walked toward the room, knowing that it would not be a welcome sight that greeted his eyes. He pushed the door open to find Sulli sitting on the bed with a very puzzled expression on her face as Heechul sat behind her braiding her hair.

“Heechul?” Yunho questioned softly.

Heechul’s bright, inquisitive eyes looked up over the girl’s shoulder, and he smiled at Yunho. “Yunho, isn’t her hair beautiful?”

“It’s very nice.”

Heechul hugged Sulli from behind, causing the girl to tense, and declared, “She’s adorable. I always wanted a little sister! Doesn’t she look like me? Don’t you think she looks like me?”

Yunho closed his eyes and nodded his head, knowing Doctor Kim Heechul was once again lost.

“We are the most beautiful girls in the entire universe…in all the universes. She was broken, but I fixed her all up,” Heechul said with satisfaction. “She’s so much nicer than…” Heechul paused to look at Yoochun who was standing beside Yoochun. “So much nicer than that nasty Yoochun. He made a terrible girl! Just terrible!”

“Well, all women pale in comparison to you,” Yoochun told Heechul, playing along with the insanity that ruled Heechul’s world once again.

Heechul’s smile brightened more, and he let go of Sulli to reach up and cup his own face.  
“You flatter me, but you are absolutely correct. I guess I have to forgive you for being a horrible, whoring woman.”

Yunho fought the urge to lean against the door and just let all his burdens claim him. One of the bright spots in this ongoing nightmare had been the return of Heechul’s sanity. Heechul’s wonderful, clever sanity that never missed a thing, and never spared him from the harsh truths of life, he needed to hear. Yunho looked down at Sulli and asked kindly, “Did Dr. Cho explain what is going on to you?”

Sulli nodded her head. “He is like Commander Leeteuk was on the planet.”

“Yes, but it isn’t quite as bad with Heechul,” Yunho told the young girl.

“Oh, we must go visit Leeteuk!” Heechul exclaimed, jumping off the bed, suddenly excited. “Yunho keeps him tucked away out of sight just because he dislikes clothes…” Heechul paused to give Sulli a horrified look. “What am I thinking? Sulli, you can’t be allowed to see a nude man. Well, at least not until your wedding night!”

“My wedding night?” Sulli asked, even more confused.

Heechul plopped back on the bed and gave her a wink and told her, “I know you are secretly engaged, and I think it’s so romantic!”

Yunho turned away from the two of them, and walked away, unable endure it anymore. He couldn’t listen to Heechul go on about weddings to a girl who had suffered so much at the hands of men.

“Well, it was just a blessing he ever came back at all,” Yoochun said as he followed behind the captain. “I mean if he hadn’t then, Junsu, Ryeowook, and Sungmin would all be in stasis right now. It’s like he came back because he knew he was needed.”

Yunho came to abrupt stop, and turned around to look at Yoochun. “And he isn’t needed now?”

“That isn’t what I meant…I just meant it must have been hard for him to return from that…madness,” Yoochun explained.

“Yes, very hard,” Ryeowook, who was still sitting on the exam bed, agreed. “Very hard…but at least we know he isn’t completely lost. He’s still in there somewhere, beneath all the damage.”

Yunho clenched his fists, feeling suddenly so angry. “I don’t want anybody to be lost. Nobody.”

Ryeowook looked up at the captain, startled. “I know you don’t. I know you are doing everything you can.”

“It’s not enough, though,” Yunho confessed, attempting to reign in his frustration.

A tear slipped down the left side of Ryeowook’s cheek as he tried to sound comforting, “You are doing everything you can.”

Yunho exhaled and asked, “Do you know about Kyuhyun’s past…the incident involving the neutral zone when he was a child?”

Ryeowook looked down at his hands, and nodded his head. “Yes, I know.”

“They couldn’t save him then, and-”

“No,” Ryeowook interrupted, with hardened eyes and clenched fists, correcting the captain. “They chose to obey the terms of the treaty. They chose to leave him there.”

Yunho winced as if he alone carried the weight and responsibility of all the choices his forefathers had made so long ago. Yunho was about to apologize for the actions of others, when a warm hand reached out, clasping his. Yunho turned to his side, surprised to find Jaejoong standing there, looking up at him.

Yunho kept his eyes locked with his bondmate as the power of their bond filled him, replenishing his physical and mental strength. “I thought touch was forbidden. You are breaking your own rules.”

“I cannot ignore you, not when you are hurting…try as I might.”

Yunho closed his eyes taking in the sting of Jaejoong’s words. “Like I ignored you?”

“My world is you, but your world is so much more. It is filled with responsibility, loyalty, duty, and honor. This irritates me at times, but it’s also what draws me to you.”

“I won’t deny that those characteristics drive me, but also there is love. Love for you, love for Changmin, love for my friends, and love for this ship and all its crew.”

Jaejoong tightened his grip on Yunho’s hand. “I do know this, but if Kyuhyun and Shindong are lost…it is no fault of yours.”

“It’s my duty to save them, and I fear time is running out.”

“Yunho, if they are not saved…it is the blame of others. Others that lack any goodness…or even the tiniest of scruples.”

A powerful memory was jogged at Jaejoong’s words, and Yunho repeated aloud the words that ZhouMi’s minion had spoken to him, “A man with scruples will never easily defeat one with none.”

“What are you saying, Yunho?” Yoochun asked from Yunho’s other side, as something in his old friend’s tone made him suddenly hopeful.

“I have to scare him…I have to make others scared to side with him. I have to make him give Kyuhyun and Shindong back to us. I have to do whatever it takes.”

“And what will that entail?” Jaejoong asked worriedly. Jaejoong knew there were things that Yunho could never live with…a line he must never cross.

“Jae, I need you to go get Changmin, and bring him to the bridge. I want the both of you at my side,” Yunho told Jaejoong, ignoring his question, as the plan to rescue his lost crew members took root in his mind.

“Yunho, I think-”

“No, Jae…it’s alright. I know what I have to do now,” Yunho told Jaejoong, letting go of his lover’s hand and turning toward Ryeowook. “I am going to get him back.”

Before Ryeowook could respond, Yunho strolled from the room with his head held high, confident in what he must do.

********************

Lord ZhouMi sat in his chair in the middle of the bridge of his flagship in serious thought. Shindong sat at ZhouMi’s feet on the floor, naked except for the black collar he wore. The crew around ZhouMi did not dare make a noise. It was obvious to all the warlord was in deep concentration. He had finally gotten a Joong, but at what price, the whole crew wondered? The Joong’s father had gone on a rampage, seizing the warlord’s ships and liberating planets from the warlords hold. This ship, the Expectations, was far greater than anything any of them had ever known.

“My Lord,” Seung-hyun whispered, interrupting the warlord from his thoughts.

Much to the surprise of all on the bridge crew, the warlord just tilted his head up to look at his highest ranking officer and asked calmly, “What is it, Seung-hyun?”

“My Lord, the Expectations is sending out a message to everyone with the capability to intercept messages from space,” Seung-hyun explained.

ZhouMi sat up straighter in his chair, immediately on alert. “A message?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Then let’s hear it,” the warlord said pointing to the screen in front of him.

The screen instantly came alive, and in the center of the screen sat a tall, handsome, young man in red. Beside him sat a beautiful, darker haired man, and on his other side sat a tall, young man with the beauty only those of Joong blood could ever possess, and around his neck was a pink necklace that ZhouMi instantly recognized.

ZhouMi stood up and stared at the screen, at a loss. The man in the center of the screen just grinned as if he could see the warlord’s reaction, and began to speak, “I am Captain Jung Yunho of the Star Ship Expectations.”

ZhouMi watched as the captain turned to his right and smiled at the darker-haired man and said, “This is Jaejoong, my bondmate.” Then the captain turned to his left and smiled at the tall, blonde, young man and introduced him. “And this is our son, Changmin.”

Nobody aboard the warlord’s ship even dared to breathe as they watched the warlord pale. The warlord’s eyes never left the screen, as the captain of the Expectations stood up and walked up closer. His handsome face was firm, and his voice unwavering as he spoke to all in the galaxy receiving his message. “The scum of this galaxy known as the Warlord ZhouMi has taken two of my crew members. He has wrongfully assumed he has my son, but due to the courageous actions of my most trusted officer, Commander Cho, he was denied my son.”

“The rest of this message is directed to the tyrant, ZhouMi, and all those who foolishly support him should listen carefully. ZhouMi, you will return my men to me, and if you don’t, I will continue to seize every ship of yours I come in contact with. I will then give those ships over to the Rebellion. I will continue to liberate all of the worlds under your vicious control. I will not stop there, though; the Warlords Hangeng and Boa, who align themselves with you will also be my enemies. I will do to them as I have done to you. In less than three days, I have seized sixty-six of your ships, and I have liberated three worlds from your malicious control…..imagine what I can do in a month…in a year. The children on my home world play with toys that are more advanced than your technology. I will crush you and all who associate with you if you do not return my men!”

“If you do not return my men, then I will find your hiding place, and when I do, I will evaporate your ship into nothingness like I have every hideous monument to you I have encountered. You will be the only one aboard your ship that I will spare. Yes, everybody aboard your ship will die, unless they rise up against you and bring me my men. If they do not bring me my men, then they will find a quick death at my hands, but you will not be so lucky.”

“No, you will not be rewarded such a merciful death; not you. I made a promise to my bondmate Jaejoong that he could do with you as he wished,” the captain said these words with delight. ZhouMi watched as Jaejoong suddenly appeared beside the captain.

“Oh, and what horrific things I have planned for you. I shall make sure you experience every ounce of pain you have ever inflicted on others, multiplied by ten. Then I will make you experience it all over again…and maybe someday, if you are good…I will melt your brain into a pile of mush,” Jaejoong seethed with pure hatred.

“Enough! End it!” ZhouMi screamed.

***************

“Kyuhyun, wake up!” the concerned voice of his roommate pulled Kyuhyun from the dark depths of memories that sleep has landed him in. He opened his eyes to a brightly lit room, to find Ryeowook staring down at him, full of worry, as he clutched Kyuhyun’s arm.

Kyuhyun pulled free of Ryeowook’s touch and reached up and wiped his face that was covered in a cold, clammy sweat. “Did I hit you?”

“No, I’m getting better at ducking,” Ryeowook answered as he sat down on the bed beside Kyuhyun.

Kyuhyun concentrated on breathing, trying to calm his racing heart. “I just fight so hard in my…nightmares. I’d never hit you on purpose.”

“I know.” Ryeowook clasped his hands together tightly, avoiding the urge to reach up and brush Kyuhyun’s sweaty hair off his brow. Ryeowook had learned the hard way how jumpy Kyuhyun was after his nightmares, how the slightest touch could send him reeling.

Kyuhyun made himself sit up and criss-cross his legs, sitting in the center of the bed. His body still slightly trembled, but Ryeowook was having his usual calming effect on him. When they had first become roommates, Kyuhyun had detested his new roommate. He had hated it even more when the secret of his nightmares had been made known to the med student. Kyuhyun hated to show any kind of weakness, but strangely…or maybe perhaps because Ryeowook was a healer, he found that his roommate’s presence could calm him in a way that no others ever had.

“I am going to go back to bed.”

“No!” Kyuhyun replied, startled. Ryeowook had never asked to leave before; he wasn’t a fool…he knew the calming affect he had on Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun did not delude himself into thinking this had escaped Ryeowook’s notice. Ryeowook could be totally innocent and clueless about many things, but he knew the human body, and he knew what distressed Kyuhyun and what didn’t. If Ryeowook wanted to leave, it wasn’t for Kyuhyun’s sake.

“I just thought-”

“I told you I was sorry,” Kyuhyun interrupted, suddenly understanding the reason behind Ryeowook’s awkwardness. “I told you it meant nothing, and I won’t try it again.”

“Good!” Ryeowook said stiffly, letting Kyuhyun know he had guessed right.

Kyuhyun sighed, knowing his roommate was still angry with him. “Do you want it written in my blood that I will never try to kiss you again?”

“I might require just that!” Ryeowook snapped.

“I kiss lots of people; I wish you would stop acting so offended,” Kyuhyun grumbled as he stretched out his legs and scooted back against the wall. He still felt shaky, and Ryeowook’s mood was not helping him to calm down.

“Do you even know why I’m mad, Kyuhyun?”

“No,” Kyuhyun admitted.

“Kyuhyun, you are a big man whore,” Ryeowook bluntly told his roommate. “You sleep with more men than any hundred people should. You sleep with them, and then you are done with them. You don’t care about them. They don’t mean anything to you. I will not be grouped with those people that you use and toss away. I’m your friend, and dammit, I expect better from you.”

Kyuhyun closed his eyes, remembering the feelings that had made him grab Ryeowook and try to pull him into a kiss in the first place. “You are right…I’m sorry.”

“Well, good,” Ryeowook replied, feeling more satisfied. Ryeowook turned around to find Kyuhyun with his eyes closed, and his observant eyes did not miss Kyuhyun’s trembling, or the way he still struggled to control his breathing.

Kyuhyun felt the bed move when Ryeowook got up, and his eyes flew open and he asked full of panic, “Where are you going?”

“Calm down, I am just getting the book,” Ryeowook answered as he moved over to Kyuhyun’s desk and picked up a book. Ryeowook had discovered months ago that reading to Kyuhyun after a nightmare calmed him.

“I am trying to calm down, but you are being mean to me,” Kyuhyun answered as he watched Ryeowook walk back to the bed.

Ryeowook got on the bed and sat down bedside Kyuhyun, careful to not touch the jumpy cadet. “I won’t be mean anymore. I shouldn’t have brought it up at a time like this…it was wrong of me. I’m sorry.”

“I won’t ever try to kiss you again,” Kyuhyun told Ryeowook then added mischievously, “Unless you ask.”

Ryeowook snorted. “I won’t ask.”

“What if we get stranded on a deserted planet, and we are the only two people there…men have needs. Well, most men do,” Kyuhyun said, trying to force the effects of the nightmare far away by jesting with his prudish roommate.

Ryeowook rolled his eyes. “I am never going to ask you to kiss me, and you better never try to kiss me again…well, unless you really mean it.”

“Mean it?” Kyuhyun asked, immediately curious.

“I mean care. I meant unless you care. I won’t be used by you. It would ruin our friendship, and I wouldn’t want to do that.”

Ryeowook’s words made Kyuhyun feel instantly uncomfortable. “I won’t ruin our friendship,” was all Kyuhyun could manage to say as he wrapped his arms tightly together, hugging his chest.

“Good, because I would miss you,” Ryeowook said as he opened the book. “Lay down, Kyuhyun. We both have early classes in the morning.”

Kyuhyun instantly followed Ryeowook’s instructions, resting his head down beside where Ryeowook sat, his hair just barely brushing Ryeowook’s thigh. He knew that Ryeowook’s soothing voice reading over the familiar words would soon have him sleeping again. “I’d miss you, too,” Kyuhyun whispered.

Ryeowook smiled as he laid the book across his lap and began to read.

****************

 

“Baby Star Fleet, it’s time to wake up. Wake up, Baby Star Fleet,” a soft, cruel voice whispered, piercing his unconscious mind with the old taunts that brought with them crippling fear. Kyuhyun awoke, alarmed, with his heart immediately beginning to race. A machine in the background beeped with every thump of his pounding heart. He found the courage to open his eyes, and found the Warlord ZhouMi staring down at him with a guarded expression. “Tell me, Commander, why would someone who has obviously suffered such cruelties as you, offer yourself up to me in the place of the Joong hybrid?”

More panic set in as he realized the ruse was over, and ZhouMi was on to him. He struggled to move his arms, only to find all his extremities restrained, and the pain from the torture he had received at ZhouMi’s hands earlier spreading throughout his body, almost blinding him to everything but the pain. “He’s my friend,” Kyuhyun barely managed to get out of his parched lips.

“Your friend?” ZhouMi repeated, shaking his head in disbelief. “No friend…no one is worth what I’ve put you through.”

“He is,” Kyuhyun insisted.

The warlord bent down to smile down at Kyuhyun. “No, he isn’t, and-”

“My Lord, I am sorry to interrupt you, but Mistress Boa and Master Hangeng are both demanding an audience with you,” a tall, slim man that Kyuhyun remembered seeing earlier announced, as he stepped into view.

Kyuhyun watched as the warlord turned his attention on the man. “Seung-hyun, did you say they are demanding? They are demanding,” the warlord asked icily.

“Yes, My Lord…and they are both on a course to intercept us,” Seung-hyun explained to his master.

“They know our location?”

“Yes, My Lord; it appears the traitor is still aboard the ship,” Kyuhyun watched as the man named Seung-hyun proclaimed with a bowed head, as if he expected a blow from the temperamental warlord.

“Leave us! I want that traitor found,” ZhouMi seethed as he turned back around to face Kyuhyun.

“Yes, My Lord,” Seung-hyun answered and quickly left the room.

“Commander, you have brought nothing but misfortune upon me. And it was all in vain, because your precious Changmin never survived. He died on Belara and all your suffering was in vain. Do you hear me, Kyuhyun? It was in vain. He died. You didn’t save anybody. And even if he hadn’t died on that planet, it still wouldn’t have been worth it.”

“No!” Kyuhyun somehow managed to scream. “No, No, No!” It couldn’t be true. Kyuhyun refused to believe Changmin was dead. It couldn’t have all been in vain. He did not allow this to happen all over again for nothing. Changmin…Changmin dead…no it couldn’t be true.

ZhouMi reached down and grabbed Kyuhyun by the shoulder and shook him. “Yes, this was all for nothing. I will promise you this, commander, though. This is the last time I will willingly hurt you, though. The last time,” ZhouMi promised Kyuhyun, with guarded eyes, and then turned to look at somebody who was standing behind Kyuhyun, out of sight. “Doctor, it’s time.”

 

Kyuhyun tilted his head back, as a great fear consumed him, as the doctor that had kept him drugged and at ZhouMi’s mercy, stepped into view with a big syringe. “No,” Kyuhyun screamed as the doctor plunged the syringe into him.


	5. Chapter 5

After having the computer locate Lieutenant Sungmin for him, Siwon walked slowly into a large room aboard the Expectations that he had never entered before. The room appeared to have been a huge dining area in the past, and it even had a section of the floor that was cleared off, as if it has been for dancing. The most impressive feature of the room was the back wall. It was made of a clear alloy that allowed for a perfect view of space. As the Expectations sat in space waiting for a signal that would send them to the rescue of Commander Cho and Shindong, this window showed countless stars sparkling in the distance.  
  
“What is this room?”  
  
Sungmin, who stood against the glass, did not move at the sound of Siwon’s voice. His sharp senses had long ago alerted him to the fact that another had entered the room. “It’s Ten Forward, a recreational lounge. Before the tragedy…it was always full of crew members. It was a place to unwind, and to enjoy the company of others.”  
  
Siwon walked further into the room. “Is it not used anymore?”  
  
“No, the captain wanted us all eating our meals in one designated area after the accident…to bring us all together. Also, there is so much to do on this ship, and barely enough crew to keep it running; most of the recreational programs were shut down to conserve energy,” Sungmin explained. “This area of the ship is usually locked off.”  
  
“But not to the chief of security,” Siwon said with a grin as he stepped up next to Sungmin.  
  
Sungmin forced out a small smile and agreed, “No, not to the chief of security.”  
  
Siwon stared out the window. “It’s a very nice view, it’s a shame it isn’t open to all. Sometimes on this ship you forget just how vast the universe is. This view is a nice reminder.”  
  
“Such a vast universe that it’s nearly impossible to find two lost souls.”  
  
Siwon looked away from the view to gaze down at the man beside him. “Lieutenant, you are very perplexing. Sometimes you almost seem fragile, and at other times you seem strong and capable of anything.”  
  
Sungmin sighed uncomfortably, not sure of what to say.  
  
“That you give others this conflicting perception of yourself is not to your benefit,” Siwon continued. “When I pulled you from that raging river so long ago…you seemed so fragile; as if you needed protecting.”  
  
Sungmin’s eyes lit up as he was suddenly reminded of Siwon’s vow to him. “I almost forgot about your claim of responsibility for me. You haven’t spoken of it in a long time.”  
  
“No, I have not. Although this long honored custom of my people still remains intact I found it…I found it slightly odd to be responsible for the safety of someone who could quite literally wipe the floor with me…and several others at the same time.”  
  
Sungmin laughed. “Come to think of it your claims of responsibility did die down about the same time you got assigned to security.”  
  
“Yes, and very wrongfully so I might add.”  
  
“Wrongfully?”  
  
“Although your physical prowess is most likely superior to all aboard this ship, your emotional strength is not nearly as adept. I must apologize for not being more astute and for adding to your-”  
  
“That’s enough,” Sungmin said quickly, interrupting the other, knowing the direction the taller man was heading.  
  
“I should not have slept with you when you were in the body of a woman, no matter what reassurances you gave me. Although you spoke of the differences between sex and love, it is clear that you have great difficulty separating the two. I fear I might I have unintentionally hurt you.”  
  
“I think it would be wise of you to remember my physical prowess and shut the hell up,” Sungmin told Siwon in a hateful manner, his cold voice full of warning, trying to hide his inner turmoil at being so obvious to the prince.  
  
Siwon looked down at the floor. “It is not my intent to embarrass you. I do not find this to be a fault in your character. I just wanted to apologize.”  
  
“Well, apology accepted…now please leave,” Sungmin sputtered.  
  
Siwon slowly lifted his head to gaze at Sungmin, who was staring out the window, trying his best to remain calm. “It is not that you are not attractive; you are very much so.”  
  
“I thought you were leaving!” Sungmin said, completely flabbergasted, still staring out the window avoiding looking at the taller man.  
  
Siwon smiled as he looked at Sungmin’s reflection in the window. “When you are like this I deeply question my own heterosexuality, but not enough to toy with you. I believe you have been toyed with enough.”  
  
Sungmin folded his arms and he looked at Siwon’s reflection in the glass, meeting his gaze. “Yes, I have been.”  
  
“I am sure Commander Cho deeply regrets hurting you.”  
  
“No, he doesn’t. He deeply regrets hurting Ryeowook, or maybe that’s being too cruel of me. I think he does regret hurting me. You see, Kyuhyun used to use people all the time. At the academy, before Ryeowook stormed into Kyuhyun’s life, he used people repeatedly. It came quite naturally to him. I even had feelings for that awful version of Kyuhyun, but I never gave into them. When I could have had Kyuhyun without the Ryeowook baggage, I didn’t want him.”  
  
“You didn’t?”  
  
“He was a big ass…a jerk…wounded, but nobody noticed that. They just noticed that he was the favorite son of the academy. The son of powerful admirals…a star even before his birth…nobody saw the real Kyuhyun, and especially not me,” Sungmin explained.  
  
“And this changed?”  
  
“Yes. Ryeowook changed Kyuhyun in ways that nobody else could. He saw the real Kyuhyun, not the golden glow of the admiral’s son, and because of that Kyuhyun loved him.”  
  
“Were you jealous of Ryeowook?”  
  
“In some ways perhaps, but Ryeowook…how can you not love Ryeowook? When he first showed up at the academy, it was hell for him. The other cadets made so much fun of him; it was awful. I felt so sorry for him.”  
  
“Did you not defend him?”  
  
Sungmin shook his head, feeling that old shame from so long ago. “Not at first. I hate that I didn’t, but I didn’t. I ran around with a group of people…that were not very nice to him.”  
  
“But you became his friend?”  
  
“Yes,” Sungmin confirmed quickly. “I did. He was the best friend I ever had, and I was a good friend to him, too. I never let my feelings for Kyuhyun get in the way of that. I accepted that Ryeowook and Kyuhyun were meant to be together, and not until Ryeowook was lost did I let my feelings for Kyuhyun resurface.”  
  
“Should you not be with Ryeowook now? In his time of need?” Siwon asked, the question that had first sent him seeking out the lieutenant.  
  
A wave of emotions washed over Sungmin’s face as he brought his hands up to rub his face. “I don’t know. I want to be there for him, and I’ve tried, but I feel so bad. If I had just told Kyuhyun no…then they would not have been robbed of so much time. I knew Kyuhyun didn’t love me, but still I took what I could.”  
  
Siwon pulled Sungmin into a hug, so naturally that neither of them registered what was occurring till Sungmin’s head rested against the taller man’s shoulder, and Siwon’s arms were wrapped tightly around him. “You did not rob them of time. They might not have been fully reunited, but they had each other. If Ryeowook will accept your friendship in this…the worst of times, you must not deny him.”  
  
“You are right,” Sungmin agreed, but did not move from the other man’s strong embrace.  
  
Siwon rested his head against the top of Sungmin’s head and inhaled, and then quickly lifted his chin. “Your fragility is upsetting…” Siwon paused as the stars disappeared into long white streaks against the darkness of space. “What happened to the stars?”  
  
Sungmin pulled away from Siwon and stared out the window. “We have gone into warp. The captain must have received a message.”  
  
“Is that good?”  
  
Sungmin reached out placing both hands on the window and said with the deepest sincerity, “God, I hope so. I hope so.”  
  
**********************  
  
 _“How can it be so cold and so bright at the same time?” Kyuhyun asked as he shielded his face with his gloved hand.  
  
A heavily clothed Ryeowook, who stood beside him, gently bumped into him as they waited at the Pick-Up Station on Baylor for their ride to Ryeowook’s home. “I am sure if Changmin had come with us he could give us a perfectly logical explanation.”  
  
“I’m sure he could,” Kyuhyun agreed with a chuckle. “But Changmin is not allowed to go on holiday with us.”  
  
“Baylor would be pure torture for Changmin.”  
  
Kyuhyun looked around the primitive landscape and nodded his head. “Yeah, he would no doubt get burned at the stake for preaching the benefits of technological advancement.”  
  
“We don’t burn people…well, only witches,” Ryeowook told Kyuhyun in a serious tone as he studied his feet intently, hiding his expression.  
  
“What!” Kyuhyun exclaimed, alarmed at such an admission.  
  
Ryeowook couldn’t keep from giggling as he looked up at Kyuhyun. “Well, they are evil after all.”  
  
Kyuhyun lifted his hand and pointed his finger at Ryeowook. “You totally had me.”  
  
“I do have my moments.”  
  
“You do. Is it always so cold?”  
  
“No, it’s just during the winter months. Baylor is a lot like Earth when it comes to the seasons…the original settlers did their best to make it as much like Earth as possible. We only have ten months here, though.”  
  
“So you aren’t really twenty…you are actually only seventeen,” Kyuhyun told Ryeowook after a quick calculation in his head.  
  
“Yes, I’m actually younger than you. You are dating a younger man,” Ryeowook said, smiling smugly.  
  
Kyuhyun frowned. “That just can’t be. I only like older men.”  
  
“Is that so?”  
  
“Yes, it is.”  
  
Ryeowook reached out and grabbed Kyuhyun’s hand and confessed, “It’s a good thing that twenty is my Earth age, and twenty three is my Baylor age then.”  
  
“Good. I like you older than me.”  
  
“I’m not that much older.”  
  
“Years.”  
  
“Not even eight months!”  
  
“Not on Baylor.”  
  
“Kyuhyun, I swear you are…” Ryeowook paused and a big smile formed on his face as he saw their ride approaching. “Look, our ride has arrived!”  
  
Kyuhyun tried not to show his shock as a wooden wagon that was being pulled by two brown horses arrived. The wagon didn’t even have a cover. There was a seat for the driver up front but he and Ryeowook would have to sit on the floor of the wagon. He knew Baylor refused technological advancement but to be pulled to Ryeowook’s home in an uncovered wagon in the cold weather was a little much even for Kyuhyun’s adventurous spirit. “We are going to freeze our asses off.”  
  
Ryeowook whacked Kyuhyun on the arm. “What did I tell you about cussing?”  
  
“You said I couldn’t cuss around your grandmother.”  
  
“You better start practicing now, because if you slip up around her she will knock you over the head with a frying pan. Don’t think she won’t,” Ryeowook told the taller man beside him as he grabbed his luggage.  
  
Kyuhyun bent down and picked up his own luggage. “I won’t slip up. She’s going to love me.”  
  
Ryeowook groaned but then quickly put on a smile as the wagon arrived. “Mr. Davies, it’s so good to see you!”  
  
“Hello, young Mr. Kim!” the driver said as he smiled down at Ryeowook. “Your grandmother has not stopped talking about your visit. She is so excited to have you back for Christmas.”  
  
“I’m excited to be back!”  
  
“Who is your friend?” Mr. Davies asked from his seat on the wagon.  
  
“His name is Cho Kyuhyun.”  
  
“Nice to meet you,” Mr. Davies told Kyuhyun.  
  
Kyuhyun bowed his head in respect. “Nice to meet you, Sir.”  
  
“Now you two hop in the back, and let’s get you to your grandmother’s before she sends out a search party,” the driver told them.  
  
Kyuhyun and Ryeowook both climbed into the back of the wagon and the driver immediately started the horses as soon as they were settled. They sat side by side.  
  
“Stop looking so…” Ryeowook paused.  
  
“So what?”  
  
“Like a fish out of water. You can survive two weeks on Baylor, I promise.”  
  
Kyuhyun swallowed nervously and looked at Ryeowook doubtfully. “I thought I knew what I was getting myself into, but I’m not so sure now.”  
  
“Just think of it as an adventure. Imagine that you are on a mission and you are stuck on a primitive planet and you have to mingle with the locals. You can do this.”  
  
Kyuhyun looked out at the passing scenery. “There are lots of cows here…so all the food’s natural?” Kyuhyun asked, suddenly feeling queasy.  
  
Ryeowook reached over and grabbed Kyuhyun’s right hand and squeezed it tightly. “You can eat vegetables and bread.”  
  
“I must love you a lot,” Kyuhyun told Ryeowook, squeezing his hand back.  
  
“You must.”  
  
Kyuhyun gave Ryeowook a serious look and asked, “I have another question. Primitive societies aren’t exactly known for their open-mindedness. I mean from how you talk…I realize your grandma will be okay with our relationship, but what about everybody else?”  
  
“I think you are mistaking us for a real primitive society, Kyuhyun. The people on Baylor choose to live this way…our ancestors are from Earth. There are many same sex couples on Baylor, although since we frown on any technological involvement opposite sex couples are more celebrated at times, just because of the promise of children. Don’t worry, you are not going to get flogged if you hold my hand.”  
  
“What if I kiss you?”  
  
“You still won’t be flogged”  
  
Kyuhyun scooted closer with a grin full of mischief and asked, “What if I make sweet, passionate love to you?”  
  
Ryeowook’s face turned bright red, much to Kyuhyun’s enjoyment and he stammered out, “I don’t think we need to worry about that.”  
  
“What if I get over my issues?” Kyuhyun asked and blew in Ryeowook’s ear to torture the older boy.  
  
Ryeowook pushed Kyuhyun away realizing he was being played with. “I doubt you will have any mental breakthroughs here.”  
  
“Hey, don’t say that. It could happen anytime, and why not here?”  
  
“It better not happen here!”  
  
Kyuhyun looked at Ryeowook, suddenly taken aback. “So if I was finally able to be intimate with somebody I truly cared about…love with all my heart, you would say no?”  
  
“Yes,” Ryeowook answered honestly. “As much as I want to, I wouldn’t. If Grandma found out, she would skin us both alive.”  
  
“I don’t understand. You just said they weren’t homophobic.”  
  
“They are not…they are moral.”  
  
Kyuhyun starred down at Ryeowook full of curiosity now. “What do you mean by that?”  
  
“Just let it go,” Ryeowook told the other man, but his cheeks were growing redder, and not from the cold.  
  
“You are blushing. What is it?”  
  
Ryeowook looked away from Kyuhyun and focused on the passing scenery. “Those are really big cows out there. I forgot how big the cows are here.”  
  
Kyuhyun reached for Ryeowook and tugged him up into his lap. “You have to tell me. You know once I get curious I can’t let it go.”  
  
“I’m not telling you,” Ryeowook said, holding firm.  
  
Kyuhyun blew in Ryeowook’s ears. “I have ways of making you talk.”  
  
Ryeowook clenched his lips together, refusing to say a word.  
  
“Ryeowook, stop being like this! Why can’t we make love?” Kyuhyun asked louder, unable to hide his exasperation at the stubborn man in his arms.  
  
“Because on Baylor we believe in the sanctity of marriage, young man” Mr. Davies helpfully supplied, much to the mortification of Ryeowook.  
  
Ryeowook tried to escape Kyuhyun’s lap but the younger man held on to him firmly as he tried to control his laughter. Kyuhyun had forgotten all about the driver. “Thank you, Mr. Davies,” Kyuhyun told the driver as if they had been discussing the weather.  
  
“You are welcome, young man. Remember, Mrs. Kim is not somebody to take lightly. She values tradition greatly; if she thinks her grandson’s virtue is in danger she will have you sleeping in the barn with the animals,” the driver warned Kyuhyun.  
  
“I’ll remember that,” Kyuhyun told the driver. The driver smiled down at Kyuhyun and the totally humiliated Ryeowook, who had given up his struggle to free himself from the bigger boy.  
  
“I shouldn’t have ever invited you to come with me,” Ryeowook whimpered as he slumped in Kyuhyun’s arms. He knew Mr. Davies would tell his wife, and Mrs. Davies would tell everybody.  
  
Kyuhyun, who could barely control his laughter, asked, “So you grandmother will want me to make an honest man of you…before I get a crack at the goods?”  
  
“Shut up! I hate you!”  
  
“You love me so much,” Kyuhyun told him, unbothered by the other man’s words.  
  
“No, I don’t! Not anymore!”  
  
“Liar,” Kyuhyun told Ryeowook, and kissed him on the cheek. “You know my parents are married.”  
  
“So,” Ryeowook replied, still lost in his embarrassment as he imagined the entire town talking about him and Kyuhyun.  
  
“So, it’s not like it is a foreign concept to me,” Kyuhyun told the distressed man in his arms. “They actually got married so they wouldn’t have to be separated when they were younger. You know Star Fleet respects the sanctity of marriage too.”  
  
“What are you saying?” Ryeowook asked, his distress forgotten as he starred at Kyuhyun dumbfounded.  
  
Kyuhyun blushed, a sight Ryeowook rarely saw, and clarified, “I am not proposing to you right now or anything…but it would mean we would always be assigned to the same ship once we are out of the academy…plus your grandmother would be happy.”  
  
“She would be,” Ryeowook agreed softly.  
  
“I wouldn’t be unhappy,” Kyuhyun said and smiled shyly at Ryeowook, unable to hide his nervousness.  
  
Ryeowook smiled back at him. “I wouldn’t be either.”_  
  
**********************  
  
Kyuhyun opened his eyes and found that he was looking up into a brightly lit sky. For a second he thought perhaps he was back on Baylor, but the size of the sun in the distant sky quickly ridded him of the pleasant thought.  
  
All his pain was gone, a feeling of euphoria filled him and Kyuhyun knew he must be dead. He looked around and saw only tall grass, surrounding him. Since he was rid of the restraints that had held him down, he sat up freely. He stared out at a meadow full of green grass, with a small grove of trees in the distance.  
  
 _ **“I have nothing to fear; and here my story ends. My troubles are all over, and I am at home; and often before I am quite awake, I fancy I am still in the orchard at Birtwick, standing with my old friends under the apple-trees,”**_  Kyuhyun repeated the lines from the story that Ryeowook had read to him so many times.  
  
Kyuhyun couldn’t help but smile. He had always suspected Ryeowook had secretly associated him with Black Beauty, who had endured so much, and that had been the reason why a young Ryeowook had picked that story to read to Kyuhyun so long ago. “Perhaps, you were not wrong to do so, my love,” Kyuhyun said softly for Ryeowook, who was not with him, but who was never parted from him.  
  
How he would miss Ryeowook, but Kyuhyun would wait patiently until Ryeowook joined him in the afterlife, and he knew that someday Ryeowook would join him. Their story had not ended, Kyuhyun knew this. He also knew Ryeowook still had a long life to live. He hoped he would be allowed to peek in on Ryeowook at times.  
  
He wondered if Changmin would visit him here in his afterlife. How he wished he had been able to save Changmin. He had wanted Changmin to have a long life, too. The road to friendship with Changmin had not come easily, but he had treasured their friendship. “Maybe I will just sleep till they join me,” Kyuhyun said and then yawned as a sudden weariness overcame him.  
  
Wwww rrrr yuyyuuuu onnnn,” incoherent garbled words from behind him had Kyuhyun turning quickly to stare in shock at Shindong, who was now sitting up in the tall grass giving him a peculiar look. Why would Shindong be in Black Beauty’s meadow with him, Kyuhyun asked himself?  
  
Kyuhyun quickly looked down at his body that still had lashes and cuts all over it, and then looked back at Shindong. “We aren’t dead?”  
  
Shindong shook his head.  
  
“Why aren’t we dead?” Kyuhyun asked, completely surprised to find that he was still among the living. He had been sure that ZhouMi had ordered the doctor to kill him.  
  
Shindong opened his mouth and pointed to his mouth.  
  
“Oh,” Kyuhyun said in deep sympathy after seeing the mouth without its tongue. “Well, he must have doped me up good, because I’m feeling no pain,” Kyuhyun admitted, struggling to stay awake, his eyes closing against his wishes. “Actually I feel like I’m floating…floating like a feather in the wind.”  
  
“Kyuhyun!” the loud cry of Ryeowook’s voice rang in Kyuhyun’s ears as loving arms abruptly wrapped around him holding him tight. “Kyuhyun! You’re alive. Thank God you are alive!”  
  
Kyuhyun forced his eyes open to find that now he was in the Expectations transporter room, sitting on the beaming platform, being held on to tightly by his husband. Kyuhyun hugged Ryeowook back as the drugs still flooded his system leaving him woozy. “Ryeowook,” Kyuhyun barely managed to get the words out, his sense of relief was so great.  
  
“It’s good to have you back, Commander,” the captain said from behind Ryeowook. The captain was standing with Yoochun and Donghae, his own eyes glassy and his expression echoed the relief that Kyuhyun felt.  
  
“I knew you would come for me,” Kyuhyun whispered, before he fell into unconsciousness.  
  
****************************  
  
“When I get control of my telepathy, I will erase all his bad memories,” a voice that sounded like Changmin greeted Kyuhyun the first time he awoke aboard the ship since being rescued. Kyuhyun kept his eyes closed, knowing it couldn’t be Changmin. Changmin was dead. He had failed to save Changmin.  
  
“You will not,” the captain could be heard saying.  
  
“Remember, Yunho doesn’t believe in mind manipulation. He would much rather people suffer senselessly, and relive all their hellish memories,” Jaejoong’s curt voice could be heard saying.  
  
“Jaejoong,” Yunho warned.  
  
“But if he wishes it, can’t I?” the Changmin like voice asked. “Jaejoong, if he wanted me to…couldn’t I do it then?”  
  
“I’m not sure. You are a hybrid; I would hate for you to accidently end up bonding with him,” Jaejoong answered.  
  
“Bonding!” the voice like Changmin’s exclaimed loudly. “He’s already married!”  
  
“Changmin, hush or you will wake him up,” Yunho scolded, and Kyuhyun could not believe his ears. Could Changmin really be alive…no, it had to be a trick, Kyuhyun told himself.  
  
“Yunho, he’s already awake. He needs to open his eyes and see that Changmin is indeed alive, and it is not a trick,” Jaejoong told his bondmate.  
  
Kyuhyun’s eyes flew open after hearing Jaejoong’s words and the sight that greeted him was most welcome, even if it was completely unexpected. The Changmin that sat at his bedside had been transformed into a blond haired, blue eyed beauty. “Changmin,” Kyuhyun whispered in astonishment.  
  
“Kyuhyun,” Changmin said excitedly, leaning in for a hug, but before he made contact with Kyuhyun, Jaejoong stepped over and grabbed him by the arm, stopping him.  
  
“Changmin, no touching without his permission,” Jaejoong said, pulling his son away from Kyuhyun, who had recoiled as Changmin had moved in closer to him.  
  
Kyuhyun looked up at Jaejoong to give him a look of gratitude and then back down to Changmin. “I’m so glad you are alive.” Kyuhyun looked down at his arms and saw that all his wounds were now healed, and the physical pain was gone…but now another kind of pain had set in.  
  
“I would not be alive if it weren’t for you,” Changmin told Kyuhyun tearfully. “I think I need to hug somebody. I feel the need for physical contact. It’s most unsettling!”  
  
“Hug Jaejoong,” Yunho quipped from the other side of the bed.  
  
Jaejoong and Changmin stared at each other awkwardly. They had come to an understanding…a sort of unsteady truce, but neither felt comfortable with the thought of hugging. “I don’t want to hug Jaejoong.”  
  
“And I’m completely fine with that,” Jaejoong quickly added.  
  
Yunho just frowned at the both of them as Changmin walked past Jaejoong and up to him. Yunho did not stand. He just shook his head, wondering if Jaejoong and Changmin would ever be truly comfortable with each other.  
  
When Yunho did not initiate any form of contact Changmin nudged him with his knee. “I require human contact,” Changmin told his father.  
  
Kyuhyun watched as Yunho sighed and stood up, embracing Changmin tightly. Kyuhyun could tell the captain was exhausted. “Okay, you’ve been hugged, now go sit back down, and be good,” Yunho told his son as if he were a young boy.  
  
“Kyuhyun’s the best friend ever, and to think I used to think he was an obnoxious, cruel, sexually depraved, unscrupulous scoundrel,” Changmin cried, not letting go of his father.  
  
“That was a long time ago,” Yunho told Changmin as he disentangled himself from his emotional son, and pushed him back towards his seat.  
  
“I’m so glad you are alive,” Changmin told Kyuhyun as he returned to his chair, crying openly.  
  
Kyuhyun stared at the tears flowing down Changmin’s cheeks. He could never recall seeing Changmin cry before. “He…ZhouMi told me that you had died. That everything I had done was in vain.”  
  
“The monster,” Jaejoong grumbled under his breath. Jaejoong fervently wished that he would get the chance to meet up with ZhouMi again…with not a necklace in sight.  
  
Changmin sniffled back his tears, and wiped his nose. “He’s a very bad man.”  
  
“Kyuhyun, I can never repay the debt I owe you,” Yunho said from Kyuhyun’s other side. “I will never forget what you have done for Changmin.”  
  
Kyuhyun looked around the room and then to Yunho. “I knew if I just stayed alive long enough…that you would rescue us.”  
  
“We would never have stopped looking for you. If he had not yielded to my threats…we would have never stopped looking,” Yunho told Kyuhyun, who was beginning to look very anxious.  
  
“Ryeowook is working on Shindong,” Jaejoong told Kyuhyun, answering his unasked question.  
  
“Oh, poor Shindong…he had a really rough time of it…when will Ryeowook be done?” Kyuhyun asked, trying not to panic, but needing his husband badly.  
  
“Soon,” Jaejoong told Kyuhyun, feeling his anxiety. “Yunho and I are going to leave, and Changmin is going to stay with you for a little while, but if he gets to be too much just think it really loud and I will come rescue you from him.”  
  
“I am not too much!” Changmin disagreed, glaring at his Joong parent.  
  
“You are way too much,” Jaejoong turned and told Changmin and then turned back to Kyuhyun to explain, “He’s overly emotional right now, because he hasn’t adapted to his Joong half yet, but he is going to be fine…thanks to you.” Jaejoong then stood up, motioning for Yunho to follow him.  
  
Kyuhyun’s anxiety lessoned as Yunho and Jaejoong left the room, and he couldn’t help but be amused at Changmin who was obviously pouting. “So you’re emotional? That’s new.”  
  
“Emotional, illogical, and hairless.”  
  
“Hairless?”  
  
“Yes,” Changmin said, reaching up to touch his long, blond hair. “Well, except for this hair. But my other hair is all gone. I used to be quite hairy. Do you want to see?”  
  
“No!” Kyuhyun answered quickly.  
  
Changmin pulled back the sleeve of his shirt. “Look, there isn’t a hair on my arm, or anywhere else but my head.”  
  
“Changmin, really…I will take your word for it.”  
  
  
*****************************  
  
 _“Do you think it was wise to leave those two alone? Kyuhyun has just survived hell…I don’t think he needs to be hanging out with Changmin,”_  Yunho told Jaejoong mentally as he followed the other man into an empty waiting room in sickbay.  
  
“Kyuhyun can’t be with Ryeowook right now and Changmin is the second best choice, until Ryeowook is finished working on Shindong. Kyuhyun was very worried for Changmin. Let Changmin be with him…let him be reminded that his sacrifice was not in vain,” Jaejoong said aloud.  
  
 _“That sounds reasonable, but still, Changmin is a handful.”_  
  
“I will be listening in. If it gets to be too much, I will step in.”  
  
 _“Why are you speaking aloud?”_  
  
“There is something I have been waiting to tell you, and if I wanted to talk to you telepathically I would have made Changmin come with us,” Jaejoong said honestly.  
  
“Point taken,” Yunho huffed as he sat down on the sofa in the small waiting room, looking up at Jaejoong with great annoyance. “So, no touching and now no telepathy; dare I ask what you haven’t told me?”  
  
“You don’t have to get angry.”  
  
“I’m not angry. I’m too damn tired to be angry, so what do you need to tell me?”  
  
“I think you are angry.”  
  
“I think you mistake a whole range of emotions for anger. What I’m feeling right now is annoyance. Will you just spit out what you have to say already?”  
  
“I don’t want you to be annoyed with me, Yunho.”  
  
“Well, I am, so get over it, or do something about it. Stop shutting me out.”  
  
“Oh, so I am shutting you out? Kinda like when you put on that cursed necklace, and shut me out, huh? You don’t like it much, do you?”  
  
Yunho’s eyes narrowed, and his temper flared. “Is this how our relationship is going to be? Is it going to be about payback? I hurt you, you hurt me? I’m sorry, but I won’t be playing that game with you,” Yunho told Jaejoong as he got up from the sofa ready to leave the room.  
  
“I’m beginning to shift!” Jaejoong yelled out, stopping Yunho in his tracks.  
  
Yunho froze, and after a couple of seconds he slowly sat back down on the sofa, speechless. He tried to remember what Jaejoong had told him about shifting. Jaejoong had spoken of shifting before, but he hadn’t told him the most important aspect of shifting until they had been held captive on Trysor.  
  
“Yunho,” Jaejoong prompted.  
  
“You shift so you can become pregnant,” Yunho stated the most important fact about shifting that he knew of.  
  
“Yes, but Joongs do not always end up pregnant when they shift.”  
  
“But we know that eventually you will,” Yunho said, looking up at Jaejoong, who was watching him intently.  
  
“Yes, we do know that, but I want to postpone the shifting as long as possible. I need to focus on Changmin. I can’t let the shifting get in the way of that,” Jaejoong explained. “He needs all my focus right now. He has much to learn.”  
  
“Get in the way…is that why you have been avoiding me?”  
  
Jaejoong nodded his head. “Yes, everything about a bonded Joong has to do with the bond between them and their mate. The bond rewards proximity and that will only increase the shifting process.”  
  
“Why resist it?”  
  
“I have to teach Changmin to control his mind. I can’t afford to become a sex crazed manic at the moment.”  
  
“Weren’t you kind of always a little sex crazed?” Yunho asked carefully. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining.”  
  
Jaejoong plopped down on the other end of the sofa and explained, “There is a difference between having a healthy sexual appetite, and becoming a manic that is obsessed with procreating.”  
  
“Oh,” Yunho said with a grimace as he took in Jaejoong’s words.  
  
“You just have no idea. I was the youngest in my family so I was spared from watching my parents undergo shifting, but I have seen some of my siblings...in that state, so I have a pretty good idea what I’ll be like. Once I have completed the shifting process, my focus will almost be entirely on you,” Jaejoong admitted to Yunho.  
  
“Sounds kinda fun to me,” Yunho said jokingly, trying to lighten the mood. “So, when you get knocked up does the shifting end?”  
  
Jaejoong picked up a pillow from the sofa and threw it at Yunho. “Knocked up? My healing abilities will not spare me from the pain of shifting or pregnancy. I’ll become fat, and ugly! Well, you might find it funny, but I don’t!”  
  
“Why would you be ugly?” Yunho asked, slightly nervous. What did Joong’s look like when they were pregnant? Did they morph into something else?  
  
Jaejoong glared at Yunho as if he was an idiot. “I will be all fat and puffy; of course I will be ugly! You’ve seen pregnant humans before haven’t you?”  
  
“You will be pregnant with Changmin, our child…you will be beautiful,” Yunho told Jaejoong, much relieved. “There isn’t anything ugly about pregnancy.”  
  
“Shut the hell up! I wish I could impregnate you!”  
  
Yunho leaned farther away from Jaejoong whose eyes were turning slightly red. “I think you might be overreacting a tad bit.”  
  
“I am warning you…this is not funny!” Jaejoong hissed at Yunho.  
  
“Jae, I think you are forgetting that I have a medical implant in me. All Star Fleet officers have one. As long as it is in me…I couldn’t get you pregnant even if I wanted to,” Yunho explained, trying to calm down his irate lover.  
  
“You fool!” Jaejoong leaned across the couch and growled at Yunho. “Do you think I can’t have that beamed out of you or have Ryeowook remove it? Once I go into crazy, baby-making mode nothing will stop me. Nothing!”  
  
“You are totally scaring me right now,” Yunho paled slightly and told Jaejoong in a very alarmed voice. “Like, really scaring me.”  
  
Jaejoong sat back up quickly, realizing how he was behaving. “Sorry…I’ve just never been a big fan of getting pregnant. I mean, I bonded with a human, it shouldn’t even be a possibility…plus my hormones at this stage…are sort of temperamental.”  
  
“How long are you going to be at this stage?” Yunho asked fearfully.  
  
Jaejoong stood up, and looked down at Yunho. “It depends, hopefully the first stage will last for weeks, between this stage and the final stage there is another period of time where my body starts to transform physically, and my mood should be considerably improved by then.”  
  
“And you don’t want to progress to the final phase too quickly, because you want to teach Changmin how to control his gifts first.”  
  
“Yes, so I need to stay in this phase, the ‘Yunho can do no right, and I just want to slap him really hard’ phase, for a little longer.”  
  
“Lucky me,” Yunho said full of sarcasm.  
  
“I need to go check on Changmin, and I need a little break from you, so I’m going to go for now,” Jaejoong told Yunho as he walked toward the door. Jaejoong turned back around to face Yunho before leaving and added, “I still love you. I’ll always love you.”  
  
“That goes both ways. Just because I get angry at you…doesn’t change how I feel for you. I love you too,” Yunho told Jaejoong and then added, “Just remember, slapping counts as contact and we don’t want to reward the bond.”  
  
“Oh, I promise to have somebody else slap you for me,” Jaejoong said as he stepped out of the waiting room.  
  
Yunho’s jaw dropped as he stared at the doorway that Jaejoong had disappeared through. Was Jaejoong being serious, he asked himself. Yunho leaned back into the sofa, frowning, and said aloud, “The shit just keeps on coming.”  
  
  
**************************  
  
The second time Kyuhyun awoke aboard the ship, he was in the room he shared with Ryeowook. He opened his eyes to find himself on their bed, tucked underneath the covers with Ryeowook sitting beside him staring down at him with pure adoration.  
  
Kyuhyun closed his eyes again and fought the feelings of shame that flooded him. He knew that everything that had been done to him was known to his husband. Nothing would have escaped the good doctor’s notice.  
  
“Hey, are you hungry?” Ryeowook asked gently, not moving closer, and not reaching out for him.  
  
Kyuhyun kept his eyes closed and just shook his head.  
  
“You know you are safe now, correct?”  
  
Kyuhyun nodded his head, and clenched the blankets that were covering him with both of his hands.  
  
“You know I love you more than anything?” Ryeowook asked him, keeping his voice smooth and controlled.  
  
Kyuhyun nodded his head again, letting go of the covers he had been clenching, forcing himself to relax…just a little.  
  
“You know that we can get though anything as long as we are together,” Ryeowook asked in that same carefully controlled tone.  
  
Kyuhyun sighed, opened his eyes and looked up at his husband, nodding his head.  
  
Ryeowook smiled back at him. “Good. Is there anything you need from me right now?”  
  
Kyuhyun shook his head.  
  
“I am pretty sure you still have your tongue, but you should open your mouth just so I can make sure. I was kind of emotional when I first examined you. I would hate to have missed something,” Ryeowook said with a small, sad smile.  
  
“You never miss anything,” Kyuhyun sighed and told his husband.  
  
“That’s not entirely true, but that is a discussion for a different time. I moved you out of sickbay and into our quarters because I thought you would appreciate the privacy.”  
  
“I do.”  
  
“I want you to rest, as much as you can. I will be in the living area if you need-”  
  
Kyuhyun reached out and grabbed Ryeowook’s hand. “You are not leaving me. That’s what I want…for you not to leave me.”  
  
Ryeowook stared down at where Kyuhyun had his arm, and looked up at Kyuhyun with quizzical eyes and agreed, “Okay, I will stay with you.”  
  
Kyuhyun studied Ryeowook’s gaze, and knew what he was thinking. “Don’t psychoanalyze me…not yet. Give me a day before you start with that bullshit. You know it doesn’t work on me…you are the only thing that can help me…you did before.”  
  
“Before,” Ryeowook said carefully as he scooted back in bed until he was sitting against the headboard of the bed, “was many years after the initial trauma.”  
  
“It doesn’t matter how long it was, you were the only one that helped me,” Kyuhyun told Ryeowook as he repositioned himself, resting his head on Ryeowook’s lap.  
  
Ryeowook leaned against the headboard, not touching Kyuhyun in return, letting Kyuhyun initiate all contact. “In sickbay you rejected all touch, which is completely normal and to be expected.”  
  
“In the transporter room you hugged me, and I didn’t reject you,” Kyuhyun reminded Ryeowook as he tried to get comfortable.  
  
“You were so high from the assortment of drugs they gave you that you weren’t in your right mind,” Ryeowook told him.  
  
“So, since I’m not afraid to touch you…I am not handing this properly,” Kyuhyun asked bitterly. “I’m once again failing to handle being tortured in the textbook manner.”  
  
“No, I didn’t mean that. I just…I’m just going to shut up, okay?”  
  
“No, it isn’t okay.”  
  
Kyuhyun sat up and stared Ryeowook in the face. “Ryeowook, I don’t want to have sex with you…I might not want that for a long time. What Zh…ZhouMi did to me was bad, but we both know I have survived far worse. I just want to be comfortable with you…like when we were at the academy. Remember how it was back then? I don’t think anything could ever happen to me…that would make me reject you. I trust you absolutely, being with you comforts me. Can you just accept that?”  
  
Ryeowook smiled at Kyuhyun and reached up and cupped his cheek with the palm of his hand. “Yes, I can do that. Do you want me to read to you?”  
  
“Not if it means you have to get up out of bed and leave me,” Kyuhyun answered as he settled back down, resting his head in Ryeowook’s lap.  
  
Ryeowook reached across the bed to the bedside table and pulled out an old, often-read book. “When you were missing…I clung to it. I would sit in the dark and not accept visitors, and I’d just clutch it tightly to my chest, hoping for a miracle.”  
  
“Did you sleep?”  
  
“Only once.”  
  
“I dreamed of you so much,” Kyuhyun told Ryeowook. “I dreamed of you…mostly. I remembered our past in my dreams. I only ever want to dream of you.”  
  
“I know, and if I had my wish you would only ever dream of times filled with happiness,” Ryeowook told Kyuhyun as he opened up the book.  
  
Kyuhyun closed his eyes, and told Ryeowook with confidence, “I will be okay…as long as we are together.”  
  
Ryeowook smiled down at Kyuhyun, and with his free hand that wasn’t holding the book he threaded his fingers through Kyuhyun’s hair lightly as he began to read.


End file.
